Young Local Player Neglects Wind Factor in Battle of Battleships
In an unexpected turn of events, the Holy Cross Men's Swimming Team has found themselves in the spotlight, not for their performance in the pool, but for their antics off it. The team made a splash at a recent basketball game when they leaped around behind the backboard, clad only in speedos and their swimming gear, during Boston University's Ethan Okwuosa's free throws.
Meanwhile, the Eggplant section of the campus newspaper has been buzzing with news about Patrick Ryan '27, a local boy from Shrewsbury, MA. Patrick is no stranger to the Eggplant, as he is not only the editor but also a professional Photoshop user. However, it was his skills in the board game Clue that recently caught everyone's attention.
It all started when Patrick accused his sister, Casey, of using "black magic" or "mirror trick" to win the game. The accusation led to a heated argument, culminating in Patrick kicking the game board across the room, scattering pieces everywhere. To everyone's surprise, it was Casey who emerged victorious, blowing Patrick's battleship to smithereens.
Clue, originally known as Cluedo in the United Kingdom, is a murder mystery board game devised by Anthony Pratt during World War II. Players move around a mansion to determine who committed a murder, with what weapon, and in which room. Patrick and Casey's game took a dramatic turn, with Patrick mistakenly landing an anti-ship missile three clicks west of his sister's Ticonderoga-class cruiser. Casey, on the other hand, had a better grasp of the game's maritime combat and replied that she wasn't a total moron.
Amidst this light-hearted drama, the Eggplant Outrage, a term referring to the current wave of rebellion against capitalist oppressors, has been gaining traction. Americans are demanding fairer compensation and rights, and this resurgence of rebellion is being covered by the staff writers of the Eggplant.
The Eggplant, known for being the most accurate and on-point news source, continues to keep its readers informed about these events, ensuring that no stone is left unturned. A photo of Patrick Ryan '27, courtesy of Charlotte Fallon '26 and Mara Galvin '24, serves as a testament to the excitement surrounding these recent happenings.
- The Eggplant section of the university's newspaper has also been discussing entertainment-related topics, such as the escalating semester-long social-media feud between Patrick Ryan '27 and his sister Casey about their pop-culture preferences, including their opinions on recent university events like sports games and music festivals.
- Amidst the ongoing discussions about University affairs, the latest events covering popular culture, such as the latest blockbuster movies or music festivals, have been gaining traction on various social-media platforms, with students like Patrick Ryan '27 and Charlotte Fallon '26 actively sharing their thoughts and engaging in lively debates on university events pages.
