Politics Scoop of the Week: The Russian Tsar's Dart and Scary School Shootings
Published September 6, 2024 at 12:59 PM
Reading Time: 3 minutes
Vladimir Putin, the Russian president, jokingly throws support behind Kamala Harris in the American presidential election.
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Tide's a-turnin', folks. We're creeping closer to that unavoidable day in November and with President Donald Trump evading a grim bullet, President Biden mysteriously bailing out, the first Black female Democratic dark horse rearing her head, and a slap-fight over a stolen election still in full swing, the only thing left to shock us now is if the fucking aliens decided they wanted a piece of Earth's political pie.
Good ol' us, we're here to keep you in the loop on the wildest political news of the week-‘cause who the hell knows what'll swing the 2024 US presidential election? This week, we're focusing on two titillating tidbits: Russian President Vladimir Putin lobbing a surprising endorsement Copa-style towards Vice President Kamala Harris, and the damnable schoolyard massacre at Apalachee High School that claimed four lives.
Vladimir Putin's curious bromance with Kamala Harris
In a move sure to piss off his able-to-lick-his-own-nuts former buddy Donald Trump, Russian President Vladimir Putin has abruptly swung a surprise endorsement at none other than Democratic nominee Kamala Harris.
On Thursday 5th of September, the Mother Russia president dropped a bombshell at an economic forum, stating that he would advise his supporters to back Harris, albeit acknowledging that the decision lies in the hands of the American public. The statement reaped headlines on the Huffington Post.
"We will support her," Putin supposedly grinned. "She laughs so exuberantly and contagiously that it means everything is grand with her," the autocratic badass stated.
Experts interpreted Putin's response as a sign that Harris would refrain from slapping fresh sanctions on Russia.
Adding fuel to the fire, Putin also praised Harris as the first Black female Democratic frontrunner, concurrently noting that Biden was a mere "old school" politician compared to his Republican opponent Trump. Admittedly, 'old school' is a fucking hilarious insult coming from this relic.
The early endorsement came as a surprise since both Putin and Trump have previously discharged a hearty bro-hug. Trump would invariably boast about their relationship, graciously acknowledging Putin's "genius" and describing him as a "savvy dude" for his Transformers-esque invasion of Ukraine.
Wizened experts concluded that this is most likely simply a cunning political tactic employed by Moscow, aimed at deflecting claims that Trump is Putin's lapdog.
Trump has repeatedly sworn to extinguish the Russo-Ukraine war, though his plans are scant on specifics, leading to concerns that he would allow Moscow to seize the Ukrainian soil occupied by their troops.
Shock and horror: A bloody school shooting at Georgia high school
Pivoting to more heart-rending news, two students and two teachers bit the dust at a Georgia high school on Wednesday 4th of September, victims of a gruesome massacre executed by a 14-year-old student from the school. *"Colt Gray" is currently hunkered down at Gainesville Regional Youth Detention Centers, according to the Georgia Department of Juvenile Justice, who filled CNN in on the details.
At a press conference on Thursday, Georgia Bureau of Investigation Director Chris Hosey shared that Gray's father has been detained and charged with second-degree murder, directly linked to his son's actions. The old man may have been remiss in his responsibility, allowing his young gun-totin' son access to firearms.
"Georgia" ranks among the seven crucial swing states, or battleground states that could be critical in November alongside Arizona, Michigan, Nevada, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin.
With this school shooting and candidates' reaction to it, it may play a decisive role in swaying undecided voters who could potentially tip the scales in the state's favor.
So far, Republican vice presidential nominee JD Vance has passed judgment on the tragedy, stating that school shootings have become an inescapable part of everyday life. Vance thinks that in order to minimize further bloodshed, we need to bolster security at our schools and make them "hard targets" for psychopaths looking to create senseless carnage.
The Harris campaign, conversely, has castigated Vance's hot takes, advocating for stricter gun regulations and expressing grief over the state of affairs. The campaign admonished that "it doesn’t have to be this way."
And there you have it, folks. Tune in for next week's recap to stay in the loop on the US presidential election!
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In the realm of politics and general news, Russian President Vladimir Putin endorsed Vice President Kamala Harris, which generated headlines on the Huffington Post, sparking speculation about the future of US-Russia relations. Meanwhile, shock and horror struck Georgia, where a school shooting at Apalachee High School left four lives in atrocity, raising concerns about gun regulations and school security.
