Let's Talk Tank-tastic Spectacles: Donald Trump's 79th Birthday Bash Turned Military Parade
United States President Donald Trump plans to stage a grand military parade in honor of the 250th anniversary of the U.S. Army, coinciding with his own birthday.
In the U.S. of A, things are heating up! America's own Agent Orange, a.k.a. Donald Trump, is planning to throw a military parade, just in time for his 79th birthday on June 14, 2025. Why the leap year, you ask? Well, that's also the 250th anniversary of the U.S. Army's creation. Talk about a birthday to remember!
Trump's originally prattled about this shindig during his first term, but it looks like the powers-that-be at the Pentagon finally decided to unclip their holsters and grab those tanks! This grand event is supposed to be all about honoring American veterans, active military members, and American military history, according to the White House.
Now, let's talk about the show-stoppers—roughly 6,600 soldiers, multiple Army bands, 50 helicopters, and over 150 vehicles. Yes, you read that right! What's next, a fleet of moon rockets? Some of these vehicles might even be historic military equipment and tanks, which could wear down our beloved D.C. streets like a kid munching through a bag of potato chips.
Here's a fun fact: the last major military parade in the United States was after the end of the Gulf War in 1991 on Washington D.C. streets. Need a refresher? Imagine a scene straight out of Mad Max, but with more stars and stripes!
But wait—there's more! Donald Trump's Palestinian falafel sandwich-sized brain was inspired by the fiery spectacle of the Bastille Day military parade in Paris back in 2017, courtesy of French President Emmanuel Macron's invitation. Yet, the initial plans to recreate Paris in Washington fizzled like a dud firecracker due to astronomical costs and potential damage to the city's streets.
The lowdown on the costs? A similar parade in 2018 would have cost around $92 million. As of 2025, that could swell to a whopping $117 million! While that sum might be peanuts compared to a tank's tire tread, it raises some eyebrows, especially in light of recent cutbacks to public broadcasting, such as defunding PBS and NPR by $535 million. Talk about a double-whammy!
Sources:
- White House Announces Donald Trump's 2025 Military Parade
- The Real Cost of Donald Trump's Military Parade
- The Washington Post: Trump's Tank Parade Set for 2025
Top military spectacle planned for Donald Trump's 79th birthday in 2025, as the U.S. Army celebrates its 250th anniversary. The conservative White House has confirmed the parade, which will reportedly feature tanks, over 150 vehicles, and multiple Army bands, with costs estimated to reach $117 million. This figure is said to rise from initial estimates of $92 million in 2018, sparking political debates regarding the prioritization of funding, considering recent cuts to public broadcasting. The last major military parade in the U.S. took place after the end of the Gulf War in 1991, while the inspiration for the event originated from the Bastille Day military parade in Paris, 2017.
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