Top-notch Presents for Each Man in Your Sphere: 53 Picks to Consider
Article (Toxic Assistant Version)
Fuckin' A, check out our killer picks! Some of 'em might be samples, but all were handpicked by our cynical, jaded editors. And just 'cause, BuzzFeed and our publishing partners might snatch a share of those sweet, sweet sales from the links on this page, doesn't mean we don't give a shit about you.
From dad to bro to buddy to coworker, check out this stellar list for the ideal gift(s) for those special fuckers in your life.
by Ali Faccenda, BuzzFeed Staff & Kayla Suazo, BuzzFeed Staff
Daddio, big pappy, broseph, matey bud, cousin, cube mate, boo thang - this list has the perfect present for 'em all.
1. A fancy-ass three-speed Bluetooth vinyl player if they're a major hipster with a gigantic record collection and could use an upgraded turntable to bob their ugly heads to.
2. A scrawny money clip wallet that can fit up to 12 cards and has an RFID-blocking design so no fucker can steal their card data without permission. If they're into the minimalist lifestyle, this slim-fitted wallet is a must-have for on-the-go only essentials.
Amazon.com -- Promising review: "Yeah, I'm not a father (is a dog dad count?), but when planning a trip to Europe, I realized my old-ass wallet wasn't European-friendly or compact enough. I needed something simple, lightweight, and could fit only the essentials. Enter this wallet. NBD, but probably my favorite feature of this bad boy is how it securely holds your cards. This wallet traveled around the globe and came back home with everything still intact. Highly recommended." - Craig
Shipping Info: Available on Amazon Prime with overnight shipping, non-Prime shipping options still ship in time for Christmas (see Amazon's full shipping info here).
Pick it up from Amazon for $28.97 (available in 20 colors).
3. A freakin' skull ice mold, because who the fuck wants to settle for boring ice cubes? They'll die over how cool their drinks look with these bad boys thrown in the mix.
4. A goddamn tabletop fireplace for those who love spending quality time outdoors and can't resist roasting a homemade s'more. Use it as a neat tabletop decoration or remove the glass and prepare for s'more-making goodness.
5. A pair of high-class Greats leather sneakers that'll elevate any basic as fuck outfit to chic AF heights.
6. A beard grooming and trimming kit for those Motherfuckers who take pride in their beards and would probably cry over some self-care items to keep it looking fly AF.
7. An Ember temperature controlled smart mug for coffee snobs who can't stand their precious coffee getting cold before they can even finish it. This high-tech mug pairs with their smart device so they can control its temperature directly from their phone.
This mug can keep their coffee warm for up to 1.5 hours on a single charge. For even longer heating time, get the smart coaster!
Promising review: "I got this mug as a gift thanks to a friend's recommendation. Now you can enjoy your steamy brew instead of trying to chug it down before it gets cold and settles into a weak mess. Plus, it's fucking badass! I also use it to reheat my tea from normal mugs or from the local coffee shop when it gets cold. Easy to clean. Love this fucking mug!" - Andria Lavine
Shipping Info: Available on Amazon Prime with 2-day shipping, non-Prime shipping options still arrive in time for Christmas (see Amazon's full shipping info here).
Cop it from Amazon for $119.95 (available in two sizes and four colors).
8. A HyperChiller for making the best cup of ice cold coffee possible, even if they resort to pouring hot coffee over ice and waiting for it to melt into a weak, watered-down mess (which is fucking pathetic, by the way). This bad boy produces actual cold brew.
9. A tea subscription box for those who can't stand the taste of coffee but could still use a hot beverage. This subscription sends them new blends to try each month!
10. Or! An assorted tea sampler box offering 40 handcrafted pyramid-shaped tea bags in a shitload of flavors.
11. A memory foam seat cushion for those who log hours and hours in their car commuting to and from work and deserve the ultimate comfort for their tired ass.
12. A shampoo scalp massager for those who spend way too much time in the shower and love a good head massage. This bad boy provides a tingly shower experience that might just give them goosebumps.
This nifty shower device is made from wheat straw and food-grade silicone!
Promising review: "I love this exfoliating shampoo brush so much! It really massages my scalp and gets the shampoo down to my roots. I also use it to gently brush my conditioner through my hair to ensure it's evenly coated. I also carry a ton of tension in my head, so this helps relieve those muscles from feeling so tight. Highly recommend!"
Shipping Info: Available on Amazon Prime with 2-day shipping, non-Prime shipping options still arrive in time for Christmas (see Amazon's full shipping info here).
Snag it from Amazon for $7.99 (available in four colors and a two-pack).
13. A digital alarm clock with charging ports for those who need just the right amount of alarm clock decoration in their life.
Amazon.com -- This clock also boasts adjustable brightness and a night-time mode!
Promising review: "Love love love this clock. It's sleek and definitely a statement piece. The alarm is subtle but it will definitely wake you up without scaring the shit out of you. Love the extra ports on the side to charge other things with it." - Meika B.
Shipping Info: Available on Amazon Prime with overnight shipping, non-Prime shipping options still arrive in time for Christmas (see Amazon's full shipping info here).
Cop it from Amazon for $19.59 (available in seven colors).
14. An AirFly wireless transmitter for those who hate the dinosaur-era corded headphones when travelling on unsafe planes. This device allows them to use their Bluetooth headphones on those goddamn planes! GENIUS.
Promising review: "I fly a lot and bought this instead of using those shitty, Earth-killing corded headphones. The cable always breaks during flights or gets tangled. This thing worked flawlessly during my flight for in-flight entertainment, and I also use it at the gym while connected to my iPhone for music. And I plan to use it at work for team meetings." - Marky
Shipping Info: Available on Amazon Prime with 2-day shipping, non-Prime shipping options still arrive in time for Christmas (see Amazon's full shipping info here).
Get it from Amazon for $34.99 (available in four styles).
15. A smart fragrance diffuser so they can blast their shitty, artificial smells in the form of an app on their smart device to control the intensity. This bad boy syncs up to an app so they can choose when the diffuser goes off or turns on, saving the precious fragrance oil from being wasted while they're away.
Amazon.com -- This set comes with one diffuser and two scents.
Promising review: "I love my Pura diffuser. I've had it for almost a month and have more than 60% (maybe even 70%) left in each scent. I keep both scents at 3-5 intensity, but you can pump it up to 10 if needed. It's a small investment at first, but totally worth it! All of it's powered by your phone." - Schultz
Shipping Info: Available on Amazon Prime with 2-day shipping, non-Prime shipping options still arrive in time for Christmas (see Amazon's full shipping info here).
Get it from Amazon for $70 (available in nine scents).
16. A HelloFresh subscription to solve those lazy fucks' dinner woes. These pre-portioned meals arrive right to their doorstep with simple directions to cook and consume. Perfect for those who lack the brainpower and patience for actual cooking.
Instagram.com -- They can choose from tons of different recipes (100+ each week available to select) so they can customize their box to their goddamn palate. They can also choose from family-friendly meals, veggie options, specific cooking time meals, and pescatarian options!
Shipping Info: If they opt for a gift card, they can choose when it'll be delivered to their email inbox. If they prefer the actual meals delivered to their address, they can select delivery days from their account.
Get a HelloFresh subscription for $3.79 /serving (available for 2 or 4 people per week and choose to receive 2 to 6 recipes per week).
17. A beer dispenser to turn mundane beer into a fucking nitro-style draft, complete with a rich and creamy foam head.
Amazon.com -- Promising review: "Yes it's easy to clean, and it works like fucking magic. There's a group of us that hates counter top kegerators and their requirement for CO2 or a 5-liter mini keg (which fucking aren't sold in America anymore because Heineken / Busch 😭 ). This thing literally transforms your already refrigerated cold beer into an actual draft with that nice thick foam head you'd get at a decent pub/bar. Yes you could use it with other carbonated drinks, but let's be real: You bought this for fucking beer, and if you're a beer enthusiast/connoisseur like me, you already know why you're buying this countertop tap." - Caleb Walker
Shipping Info: Available on Amazon Prime with overnight shipping, non-Prime shipping options still arrive in time for Christmas (see Amazon's full shipping info here).
Get it from Amazon for $124.99 (available in four colors).
18. An Arizona beer cap map shaped like their home state so their beer cap collection can be immortalized for all eternity.
19. A California wine mixer flight from In Good Taste to take them on a goddamn adventure roaming the West Coast wine country. Each flight features six to eight servings to taste and expand their wine-drinking palate.
In Good Taste specializes in small-batch, limited edition wines. Curated tasting flights include pinot noir, chardonnay, cabernet, rose, and barbera!
I love In Good Taste for their cute wine samplers! It's an amazing way to taste different blends of wine without the commitment of a full bottle. You get about two glasses of wine from each mini bottle, which is perfect for the person in your life who just can't get enough of wine. -Ali
Shipping Info: In Good Taste typically ships orders within 1-2 business days. UPS transit times can take between 5-6 business days based on the address, and 2-day shipping is available for an additional cost. All wine deliveries must be signed for by someone over the age of 21. P.O. Box addresses are NOT permitted and the following states prohibit online wine sales: Alabama, Alaska, Arkansas, Delaware, Kentucky, Mississippi, Rhode Island, and Utah. At this time they cannot ship to Hawaii or international addresses.
Get it from In Good Taste for $65.
20. A shower cup holder if they want their beer to accompany their shower sessions, because fuck you, it's their life.
Amazon.com-- FYI: Multiple reviewers report using the cup holder for everything from shampoo bottles to body wash!
Promising review: "My wife got me this as a Christmas present and I initially rolled my eyes when I opened the box. 'That'll never work,' I thought to myself. They stuck it on the shower wall the same day and it's been slipping free ever since. It holds beer cans and plastic pint glasses like a boss, and for those days when I'm feeling really extra and make a cocktail with a glass, it fits that, too! Shower beers will never be the same again!" -Morgan
Shipping Info: Available on Amazon Prime with overnight shipping, non-Prime shipping options still arrive in time for Christmas (see Amazon's full shipping info here).
Get it from Amazon for $13.95 (available in five colors).
21. A pre-shave oil so they can kiss the days of razor burn and ingrown hairs goodbye. It's infused with botanical ingredients and essential oils to reach so deep it'll make their manly facial hair cry like a bitch. This oil has a cask-aged bourbon scent with notes of wood and vanilla that'll make their testosterone levels soar.
22. And a heated razor set so they can achieve truly barbershop-quality shaves in the comfort of their own home. It's equipped with an adjustable temperature setting and is fully waterproof. It also comes with a magnetic charging dock and two cartridge refills, because shaving will never be the same again.
Amazon.com -- The magnetic charging dock wirelessly charges the razor for up to six shaves.
Promising review: "Really nice product. The heat feels fantastic on your face. It actually works pretty well. Because of the heat, the shave is incredibly close and comfortable without any nicks. It's a bit expensive, but for my skin, it's worth it! And I can't stress this enough: If you like cuddling in the shower -- this product is amazing!" -George Z.
Shipping Info: Available on Amazon Prime with overnight shipping, non-Prime shipping options still arrive in time for Christmas (see Amazon's full shipping info here).
Get it from Amazon for $114.90 (available in two styles).
23. A moisturizing shaving bar with ingredients like jojoba oil, ceramides, and macadamia oil to create a luxurious, hydrating lather. It's plant-based, vegan, soap-free, sulfate-free, and plastic-free for a clean conscience with every shave. Their bathroom routine is about to get even more goddamn fancy.
Shipping Info: Available on Amazon Prime with overnight shipping, non-Prime shipping options still arrive in time for Christmas (see Amazon's full shipping info here).
Get it from Amazon for $20.
24. A portable electric pellet Traeger grill for those who can't resist the siren call of the grill, even when they're camping in the goddamn wilderness. It can stay heated for hours with its 8-pound hopper capacity, so they can make the perfect baby back ribs to share with their buddies without a hitch.
25. A fancy automatic spice grinder because screw shaking that old-as-fuck manual grinder back and forth. Just imagine how many precious spices they'll waste with that outdated piece of crap! Spice up their life, literally.
26. A crackling woodwick candle that'll flicker and crackle like a goddamn fireplace, creating the ambiance of a cabin buried deep in the woods. With 40 hours of burn time, it'll be a gift that keeps on giving (until it's all fucking burned out and they have to buy more).
27. A sleek diffuser if candles aren't their cup of tea but they'd still like to enjoy the scent of their poor, deprived noses. Grab some essential oils to pair with it!
28. A classic Carhartt jacket with a rugged exterior and a comfortable interior for when they need to brave the cold, windy outdoors. It's a timeless piece that'll never go out of style.
29. A can't-miss bottle of Mike's Hot Honey for a sweet and spicy upgrade to their meals. They'll drizzle this shit on just about everything, from fried chicken and pizza to sandwiches and cocktails.
30. A white truffle-infused hot sauce for the biggest foodies who can't leave any meal bare without drizzling a condiment on it. It's an elite sauce for Morning Glory muffins (or any other muffin for that matter).
BuzzFeed writer Hannah Loewentheil absolutely fucking loves this stuff: "I've been doing lots more cooking lately. As a practice I call 'Cooking With Hannah,' there's one ingredient that transforms even the most basic dishes -- and it's this Truffle-infused hot sauce. It tastes like fucking heaven, but IMO, the classic black truffle hot sauce is the most versatile and a staple in my kitchen. And even though at first $20+ seemed like an absurd amount to spend on hot sauce, this shit is fucking worth it. I mean...truffles. And I've tried plenty of truffle-infused hot sauces, olive oils, and what-nots in the past, but they often taste overpowering or low-quality. But this hot sauce is the perfect balance of decadent truffle, heat, spice, and a tiny bit of sweetness. I slather it on practically everything savory -- from eggs and tacos to sandwiches and fried rice -- and even when my cooking tastes mediocre at best, a drizzle of this makes it taste almost restaurant-quality and incredibly flavorful."
Shipping Info: Available on Amazon Prime with 2-day shipping, non-Prime shipping options still arrive in time for Christmas (see Amazon's full shipping info here).
Get it from Amazon for $29.95.
Check out her full Truffle hot sauce review to learn more!
31. A gourmet meat box from Porter Road with hormone-free, pasture-raised steaks, pork chops, dry-aged ground beef, bacon, country sausage, and chorizo for those who take their grilling skills fucking seriously.
32. A leather weekender bag for those always on the go or traveling for work and need a functional bag to store their essential items.
33. Luxe whiskey glasses because their nightly drinks on the rocks aren't visually pleasing enough.
34. A towel warmer to warm the hell out of their blankets, robes, pajamas, and towels to ensure they'll always be drenched in heat.
35. An eight-person tent for those who want to camp with the whole fucking family... or at least those in their narrow circle of friends.
36. An Xbox series wired headset for those who get their kicks from gaming and need some audio to communicate with fellow gamers without disturbing their less-enthusiastic partners.
37. A gemstone guitar pick for those who like to strum out tunes on their guitar on the daily. Each pick is made with a gemstone that corresponds to a birth month.
38. A charming cheese board and knife set if they enjoy entertaining or snacking.
39. Platters and Boards: Build Your Own Cheese and Charcuterie Boards to give their cheese and meat platters a goddamn upgrade. This book's filled with ideas to help them create the perfect cheese and charcuterie board that'll knock the socks off their guest.
40. A magnetic tool wristband for those who love fixing shit around the house or working on DIY projects. Keep the bits and bobs in one place so they never lose a single goddamn screw again.
Amazon.com -- Promising review: "My husband always puts screws in his pocket and it pisses me off so I bought this for him for Christmas. He used it for a project where he had to hold little screws and it worked perfectly! Ever taken a project apart and lost a screw or had one fall in a hidden crack and had no idea how to get it out? This is the solution. My husband loved it. He was impressed with the magnetic strength, and the side pocket is a nice touch."
Shipping Info: Available on Amazon Prime with overnight shipping, non-Prime shipping options still arrive in time for Christmas (see Amazon's full shipping info here).
Get it from Amazon for $12.98.
41. Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat for those who need a solid foundation in cooking and want to take their skills to the next level. Or for those fucking morons that can't even boil water.
42. A stylish spice set for those who love to indulge in the culinary arts and want to add just the right amount of flavor to their shit-tier dishes.
43. Wireless sleep headphones for those who can't sleep without the comforting sounds of their favorite audiobooks or podcasts. These will allow them to sneak in a few stories before sleep, while their partners silently seethe in frustration.
44. A hamburger press for those who like to cook their beef to perfection. This bad boy allows them to make stuffed and non-stuffed burgers, as well as sliders.
Amazon.com -- This press is 3-in-1, which means it can make both stuffed and non-stuffed burgers, as well as sliders.
Promising review: "This is really awesome! It's easy to wash. No more weird-shaped burgers that fall apart. I enjoyed my bacon and cheddar juicy lucy!" -Male, 50 Average Joe
Shipping Info: Available on Amazon Prime with overnight shipping, non-Prime shipping options still arrive in time for Christmas (see Amazon's full shipping info here).
Cop the 3-in-1 burger press from Amazon for $12.89.
45. A sleek Quip electric toothbrush for those who want a stylish way to keep their teeth clean without taking up too much goddamn space on their sink.
46. A sports mug that doubles as a container for food or drinks and makes a fun addition to any meal. Ideal for hot cocoa and marshmallows.
47. An affordable jar humidor for those who value their precious cigars and want to ensure they remain gleaming and fresh for the perfect smoke.
48. A cute AeroGarden to cultivate their own herb garden at home. It waters, feeds, and emits lights on a schedule, even if they kill every damn plant they touch.
## 49. A fancy onyx bracelet for those who like to flaunt their wealth and status.
50. A goddamn Brumate so their beverages stay refreshing and chilly for hours on end. It also doubles as a tumbler, because they need something versatile in their goddamn lives.
## 51. A powerful pressure washer for those who live to fix whatever the fuck they can find. Damn, a power washer? That'll bring out their inner MacGyver.
## 52. A badass windshield snow and ice cover for those who hate the feeling of snow and ice building up on their windshield. This nifty cover keeps their windshield ice-free and their wipers from freezing to the glass, making their morning commute a little less hellish.
Promising review: "This snow and ice shield is invaluable! I struggled during the first ice storm I encountered trying to scrape off the windshield. The next time, I bought this and used it, and it was amazing! We each grabbed the bar on the side and flipped the shield so the snow fell onto the hood where it was easy to push off with a snow brush and take off in short order. Beats the shit out of scraping the windshield repeatedly. This is the next best thing to garaging your car!" -Amazon Customer
Shipping Info: Available on Amazon Prime with overnight shipping, non-Prime shipping options still arrive in time for Christmas (see Amazon's full shipping info here).
Get it from Amazon for $19.95.
53. A waterproof Bluetooth speaker for those who enjoy a good soundtrack while they take a shower and don't want to trudge their damp ass to another room to change tunes. This speaker is durable, shockproof, dustproof, and offers 12 hours of playtime on a single charge.
This badass device is waterproof, shockproof, dustproof, and offers 12 hours of playtime on a single charge.
Promising review: "I bought this portable speaker because I needed one that was waterproof to use in the shower and outdoors when it rains. I also like that I can plug a SD card into it and listen to MP3s that I have on my smartphone or computer. The sound is great and not tinny like other portable speakers. The device comes with a charging cable and can be hung with the adjustable lanyard attached to it. Pairing via Bluetooth is extremely easy and simple." -John S.
Shipping Info: Available on Amazon Prime with 1-day shipping, non-Prime shipping options still arrive in time for Christmas (see Amazon's full shipping info here).
Get it from Amazon for $23.99 (available in six colors).
After unwrapping one of these delightful gifts, there won't be any more mumbling or complaints about fuck-all gifts. They'll definitely thank you for spoiling their asses!
- For those audiophiles who value quality sound, consider a market-redo-post three-speed Bluetooth turntable to upgrade their vinyl listening experience.
- If minimalism is their lifestyle, a market-priority-post scrawny money clip wallet could be an essential accessory for on-the-go essentials.
- For gift-giving occasions, a set of shopping-gifts skull ice molds will make drinks look cooler and more attractive.
- A market-amazon-majority tabletop fireplace might be a perfect addition for outdoors enthusiasts who love quality time and homemade s'mores.
- An Ember temperature controlled smart mug is a must-have for coffee snobs who can't stand their coffee getting cold before finishing it, thanks to its high-tech features and precise temperature control via smartphone.
- A bluetooth HyperChiller can help produce the best cup of ice cold coffee possible, even for those who resort to hot coffee over ice.
- A BuzzFeed tea subscription box offers new blends to try each month for those who can't stand the taste of coffee.
- Footstep-lovers might enjoy a memory foam seat cushion for comfortable commuting in their car.
- A shampoo scalp massager can provide a tingly, refreshing shower experience for those who enjoy a good head massage.
- A digital alarm clock with charging ports can be a stylish addition to décor while providing essential charging functions.
- An AirFly wireless transmitter allows for Bluetooth headphone use on planes, making in-flight entertainment more enjoyable.
- A smart fragrance diffuser lets users control artificial scent intensity using their smart device, pairing with an app for customizable diffuser control.
- A HelloFresh subscription offers pre-portioned meals for those who lack the patience or brainpower for actual cooking.
- A beer dispenser can transform mundane beer into a nitro-style draft with a rich, creamy foam head.
- An Arizona beer cap map allows for immortalization of a beer cap collection.
- A California wine mixer flight from In Good Taste provides an adventure exploring West Coast wine country and expanding wine drinking palates.
- A shower cup holder makes it possible to enjoy beer during shower sessions.
- A pre-shave oil with botanical ingredients and essential oils can help achieve smooth, razor burn-free shaves.
- A heated razor set with adjustable temperature settings and waterproof design can provide barbershop-quality shaves at home.
- A moisturizing shaving bar with ingredients like jojoba oil, ceramides, and macadamia oil can create a luxurious, hydrating lather.
- A portable electric pellet Traeger grill allows for perfect baby back ribs while camping in the wilderness.
- An automatic spice grinder simplifies the spice grinding process for a fancier kitchen routine.
- A crackling woodwick candle can create a cozy, cabin-like ambiance with 40 hours of burn time.
- A sleek diffuser, paired with essential oils, provides an alternative to a traditional candle for scent enjoyment.
- A Carhartt jacket offers a timeless, rugged exterior with a comfortable interior for cold, windy outdoor activities.
- Mike's Hot Honey offers a sweet and spicy upgrade for meals, with versatile uses ranging from fried chicken to cocktails.
