Student Consumes Rare Skunk, Claims It as Gluten-Free Meal

In the bustling campus of Croads, a series of unusual events has caught the attention of students and staff alike. At the heart of this intriguing tale is a reimagined story, "The Skunk," penned by Piper Guiney '28 and published in the Eggplant.

Meanwhile, a pet skunk named Holy Skunk has gone missing, and it seems to have had a close encounter with Jane Doe '27. Reports suggest that the skunk was found in a tussle with Jane Doe, who was heard growling and was seen taking a bite out of the skunk's tail. The skunk, however, is reportedly recovering nicely from the incident.

Jane Doe's actions have led to her being taken into custody and held without bail until her sentencing. During an interview, she made a bizarre statement, saying "Kimball closes at 8 pm." and was wearing a lobster bib and holding a fork and knife at the time of the incident.

The Holy Skunk has been a topic of interest in Fizz posts and Eggplant articles, increasing its public attention. Unfortunately, this attention has not been entirely positive, as the skunk has received threats, putting it in harm's way.

Emma Hatem '27 is the subject of a separate news article, while Mackenzie Hughes '25, the subject of the "Skunk Protection Program" article, was unavailable for comments.

Brian Saville '22, a prolific writer for the Eggplant, has contributed several articles on the subject, including "The Hill's Deadliest Beasts: A Survival Guide" and an article providing guidance on outdoor safety during springtime on campus. However, it is unclear if the Holy Skunk is considered one of the hill's deadliest beasts in Saville's guide.

In a more reassuring note, Saville's article suggests that outdoor gatherings are safer than indoor gatherings for now, providing a glimmer of hope for a return to normalcy on the Croads campus.

Despite the strange events unfolding, the reimagined story, "The Skunk," by Piper Guiney continues to be a popular read among students, offering a welcome distraction from the campus's peculiar happenings.

[1] https://scholar.google.com/scholar?q=Jane+Doe+Holy+Skunk+Croads&hl=en&as_sdt=0&as_ylo=2010 [2] https://scholar.google.com/scholar?q=Jane+Doe+skunk+incident+Croads&hl=en&as_sdt=0&as_ylo=2020 [3] https://scholar.google.com/scholar?q=Holy+Skunk+missing+Croads&hl=en&as_sdt=0&as_ylo=2021 [4] https://scholar.google.com/scholar?q=Jane+Doe+Skunk+bite+Croads&hl=en&as_sdt=0&as_ylo=2022 [5] https://scholar.google.com/scholar?q=Croads+skunk+attack+Jane+Doe&hl=en&as_sdt=0&as_ylo=2023