Ha! 10 Clues You Just Might Be Non-Existent
By Tobias Schmitz (?)
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Indications that you've already passed away: - Signs that suggest you're spiritually or metaphorically deceased:
Ohboy, we're still kicking? Or are we? There are times when you really start to ponder: Did that really just happen? Did the coworker/spouse/public figure really say that? Or have I already made my grand exit, staring at everything from far beyond the grave?
The following ten clues hint that, I'm afraid, you—sorry pal!—have already checked out.
Do These Sound Familiar?
- No More Morning Commute: The bed seems endlessly comfortable. You relish the energy you save not having to commute.
- No Daily Meetings: You never have to deal with endless meetings again. Who needs schedules when ghosts don't age or require sleep?
- Haunting Your Spot: You find yourself lingering in places you used to frequent—office, restaurant, or even the grocery store.
- Invisible to Others: People seem to walk right through you. Even your favorite cat ignores your ghostly presence.
- Dishwashers Never Need Your Help: You can finally concentrate on more important things than doing dishes. Let the living handle the chores!
- Phantom Phone Rings: You hear the phone ringing repeatedly, but it seems stuck somewhere else. Try reaching out to connect the call...
- You're a Ghost in Your Own Home: You feel slightly transparent in front of your mirror. Try haunting other people's homes for a fresh perspective.
- No More bills, No More Hassle: You no longer have to worry about bills, loans, or mortgage payments. Onwards to eternal peace!
- You've mastered the art of floating: Your perfect airborne maneuvers are the envy of allentity.
- Your ghostly afterlife: You've discovered an entire ghostly hangout—the perfect place for ghouls and specters to gather. Who needs the real world?
On a More Serious Note
While the above list is quite funny and speculative, there are seemingly silly situations in real life that may raise questions about a person's well-being. Watch out for the commonly acknowledged signs:
- Shallow Breathing or No Breath Sounds: Absence of breath or chest movement.
- No Heartbeat: Lack of a pulse.
- No Reaction to Stimuli: Ignoring external stimuli such as light, touch, or pain.
- Cooling of the Body: Body temperature drops below normal.
- Rigor Mortis: Body stiffens.
- Color Changes: Skin may appear pale or have a blue tint.
If you notice these symptoms in someone, it's vital to seek immediate medical assistance.
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Enrichment Data:
While the original article focuses on humorous signs to indicate death, it's essential to remember that real signs of death may include the common indicators such as lack of breathing, no pulse, and no reaction to external stimuli. Always seek immediate medical attention if you observe these symptoms.
- In the comic text, it shows that ghosts might find amusement in situations like haunting their old spots, but in real life, such lingering could be a sign of deep attachment or longing for the deceased.
- The text mentions that ghosts no longer have to deal with bills, but the deceased, unfortunately, do not have that luxury, and their families might struggle with managing financial affairs after their passing.
- The article humorously suggests that ghosts can master the art of floating, but in moments of reflection, one might ponder if the ability to laugh at the absurdity of mortality is a way to cope with the harsh realities of death.
