Love's Secret Code: Living in His World, Losing Mine
Hanging Out Sessions Occur Exclusively at My Friend's Residence, Not Yours - My friend consistently spends time with them, instead of me.
Hey there! I'm Dr. Julia Peirano, a behavioral therapist and love expert based in Germany. I've done plenty of research on relationship dynamics and wrote a couple of books about romantic love. Here's my take on your situation, Beate U.
Ever felt like you've lost yourself in someone else's garden? Well, that's what seems to be happening with you, my dear. It's not uncommon for relationships to consume our lives, but balancing our personal space with our partner's environment is crucial for long-term happiness.
So, let's talk about your personal garden – the space that was yours before Jens came along. How was it then? Was it truly reflective of who you are, or something lacking a few essential elements?
Now think of Jens' garden. How did it look before he met you? And what about now? The difference is significant, isn't it? Jens' garden is lively and thriving, while yours seems to have withered a bit since you've been taking care of his.
Don't Neglect Yourself, Girl!
It seems like caring for someone else's garden is draining your energy, leaving your own garden (life) neglected and withered. When you put your energy into someone else's life, don't forget about your own! Take a moment to think about the things you used to enjoy, hobbies you've abandoned, and friends you've lost touch with. It's time to focus on filling your own life with positivity again!
It's important to discuss this issue with Jens. Let him know that you feel an imbalance in your relationship and share your concerns about the withering of your own garden. Encourage him to contribute more to your life and show a greater interest in your children. After all, building a strong partnership means caring for each other's gardens equally.
Take care of yourself, girlfriend!
In your current predicament, it's essential to practice self-care and rediscover the way of life that truly resonates with you, just as a gardener tends to their plants to ensure their growth and vitality. Imagine nurturing not only Jens' garden but also your own, as cohabitation and love should ideally foster growth in both gardens, not just one.
Perhaps it's time to think about the hobbies you once loved, pet projects that brought you joy, and old friendships that have faded into the background. These are the very things that can revitalize your life and help you regain your sense of self, just as Peirano has offered insights into romantic love.
Consider discussing this with Jens, expressing your feelings about the imbalance in your relationship and your desire for greater mutual understanding and support. Encourage him to show love by being more involved in your life, particularly with your children, because a strong partnership is built on caring for each other's gardens equally.
