Money Request from MrBeast's Mother, Single Status of Sydney Sweeney, and Permission to Urinate at Lawrence Welk's Residence
Hey there, buckle up, 'cause it's another entertaining week in review! Seems like you missed quite a show.
Just take a gander at what went down:
- Bacon lovers, rejoice! Now, you can get Wendy's famed bacon from the comfort of your local supermarket. It's like regular bacon, only it'll likely follow you back on Instagram with clever memes.
- In a move that could potentially improve the quality of calls, MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred announced the proposal to bring in robo-umps for the 2026 season. You know what that means, right? No more manager tantrums and ensuing cleanup delays—just clean, efficient calls.
- The San Francisco 49ers have taken team-building to a whole new level, spending four days training with the Navy SEALs. In return, they offered to teach the SEALs...something...but weren’t sure if "handing the ball to Christian McCaffrey" would be particularly useful.
- The NBA is spicing things up with a USA vs. the World format for the next All-Star Game. We're expecting top-notch basketball, and, of course, the US footing the bill for it all.
- It seems an elderly gentleman in California has found a unique way to enhance his marital bliss: by purchasing a sex doll. In a backhanded compliment for the ages, he acknowledged, "Our marriage is great thanks to this sex doll." Talk about spoonfeeding the horse!
- A fugitive in New Orleans took to Instagram, asking for help from none other than Donald Trump and Li’l Wayne. He also requested followers to smash the follow button. Now, that's a bold move, Cotton!
- The strip club scene is getting competitive, hosting a Caitlin Clark look-alike contest. The winner walks away with a hefty sum, far more than most WNBA players make in a game. Meanwhile, a local garden center had an Angel Reese look-alike contest...and the winner? A palette of bricks. Guess they were root-bound!
Oh, and that's just a smidgen of what's going on. Tune in next week for more gossip, drama, and general silliness!
- Between the MLB proposing robo-umps for a potential improvement in call quality and the San Francisco 49ers training with Navy SEALs, it's clear that this week in sports and entertainment has been as exciting as a Wendy's bacon purchase – just asmemable!
- In the realm of entertainment, an elderly gentleman in California elevated his marital bliss with a unique companion, while in the sports sector, the NBA is heating things up with a USA vs. the World format for their All-Star Game – it seems we're in for a bet-worthy week!
