Trump's Fancy-Pants Military Toot-Toot on His Big Day
Military celebration for Trump, mass demonstrations ensue
Washington (dpa) - Old Donnie Trump grins like a damn Cheshire Cat on his 79th birthday, gettin' him somethin' he's been droolin' over - a fuckin' military parade through the capital. He grins as he rolls up to the grandstand, slappin' a salute in the cheatin' grin as soldiers march past him. With the whole country still breathin' fire over his high jinks, he shows not a hint of it.
"Every other cap-wavin' jackass screams about their victories," Trump says, stickin' close to his script, like he's readin' a damn bedtime story. "It's high time America joined the party." His Vice-President JD Vance, bald as a cue ball, wishes him a happy birthday. Country singer Lee Greenwood, still wearin' his pants too tight, belts out "God Bless the USA" - a tune Trump's been blastin' since his campaign days. The cherry on top? Fireworks, baby!
Officially, it's all in honor of the 250th anniversary of the U.S. Army, the oldest and largest branch of our armed forces. But more folks see it as a goddamn birthday present and political power-p ){dish for Trump, both at home and abroad. US media swears the cost could reach as high as $45 million, more than a pretty penny, and the thought of heavy military vehicles destroyin' the city streets gives a few folks the willies.
Ain't No Party Like a Politically Motivated Attack Party
Trump's freakin' birthday wish gets tangled up in reality. The weather ain't cooperatin', so the schedule gets scrambled. Meanwhile, clouds of worry gather over Washington because of a real creepy situation.
In Minnesota, a man shoots and kills a Democratic politician and her hubby. Another Democrat and his wife get shot and wounded. The cops think it was a political whodunit. They haven't caught the sick bastard yet, but they found a list full of names of other officials in his ride.
Tensions Rising, Every Which Way
The scene in Washington can't be no damner tense. Earlier, Trump had another phone chat with Putin, the Russian prez. While both sides called it a 'birthday call,' it's said they were talkin' about Israel and Iran. The heat in the Middle East could be messin' with ol' Donnie's foreign policy plans. Looks like the talks between Iran and the States over their nuke program in Oman? Cancelled.
The fuckin' parade marches on, "Rain or Shine," as Trump promised on Truth Social. The day before was a damn washout, the humidity still clingin' to every goddamn thing. Thousands of soldiers muscle their way down the National Mall, swaggerin' in historical uniforms. Trump takes his seat on the grandstand with his golden hair and the bigwigs, hootin' and cheerin' as soldiers play their instruments or hammers the drums. On props like heavy tanks and military machines. And up in the air, parachutists, drones, and choppers.
The parade glances back at the history of the U.S. Army. It got started in 1775 - yep, even before we declared our independence from Great Britain. These days, the Army's got around 450,000 active soldiers fightin' the good fight across the globe.
Ain't No Party Like a National Party
Officials expected around half a million folks to be at the bash. Whether they reached that number or not, it's unclear. But no doubt, the parade's drawn devotees from all over the country. Jonas Williams from North Carolina, hawkin' Trump souvenirs, says it's "great for the kiddies to remember what's fuckin' awesome about America."
A long line of people's been standin' in the afternoon, waitin' to get in the gates. They're wavin' American flags left and right, some wearin' those red "Make America Great Again" caps.
Nicole Lovvorn from Alabama snagged a prime spot on the National Mall more than three hours before the parade began. From there, she could see the bigwigs on the grandstand. "We wanted to catch a glimpse of the president and maybe some military hardware," says Lovvorn. "It's somethin' that don't come around every day."
Organizers' Claim: Over Five Million Protesters Across the Country
For many Americans, though, the day ain't no party, they're out there protestin'. With signs readin' "No Kings," they're screamin' about Trump's authoritarian bullshit. By the time the militia freak show begins, the organizers swore they had over five million participants in more than 2,100 cities. Damn. That's more than the April demonstrations.
Tensions have been brewin' in the country for days, with the military playin' a role in it. The deployment of thousands of National Guard and hundreds of Marines in Los Angeles to protest against Trump's immigration policy? It sparked a lot of flak. Oh, and it was against the wishes of Cali's governor, Gavin Newsom.
In Washington, it's all mostly quiet on the day of the parade, with scores of security enforcers watchin' over the event. But the "No Kings" movement had asked folks to keep their protests civil this time, goin' for more of a joyful counter-program to ol' Donnie's militia shindig.
Enrichment Data:
Details on the History of the U.S. Army
The U.S. Army, established on June 14, 1775, has a rich history dating back to the Revolutionary War. Over the years, it has grown into the largest and oldest branch of the United States military with over 450,000 active soldiers defending the country in various capacities. [1][2]
Impact on Morale and Motivation
The military parade was intended to rekindle the youth's spirit, according to some attendees. While the event did attract supporters, many questioned its necessity and cost. [3][4]
Public Opinion and Perception
The public reception was mixed, with enthusiasm from Trump supporters balanced by criticisms of the cost, the political nature of the event, and concerns about the tensions in the country. [3][4][5]
Citations:1. U.S. Army Fact File. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.army.mil/cc/FACTS/2. Bush, A. (2025, June 14). Trump's spectacle military parade in Washington: the cost and symbolism explained. The Guardian. Retrieved from https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/jun/14/trump-military-parade-washington-cost-symbolism3. Schmitz, F. (2025, June 14). Trump attends military parade on his 79th birthday despite protests. DW. Retrieved from https://www.dw.com/en/trump-attends-military-parade-on-his-79th-birthday-despite-protests/a-591763144. Smith, H. (2025, June 14). Trump's birthday brings controversy, military parade to Washington. ABC News. Retrieved from https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/wireStory/trump-birthday-brings-controversy-military-parade-washington-781120775.Turner, T. (2025, June 14). Thousands attend Trump's military parade, while protesters denounce spectacle. CNN. Retrieved from https://www.cnn.com/2025/06/14/politics/trump-military-parade-washington/index.html
- The military parade, held to honor the 250th anniversary of the U.S. Army, was met with politically charged tension, as it also served as a political power play for President Trump during his birthday.
- Meanwhile, in the midst of the military celebrations, a real-life crisis unfolded in Minnesota, where a shooting occurred targeting Democratic politicians, echoing the heated political environment in the country.
