Diane Ladd and Laura Dern Talk Tough Topics with Moms
"Is this the house?" her kiddo inquired.
"Yes, Laura. 'This is it', she replied, Ladd.
Ladd shared that they had moved to this house following the tragic loss of their firstborn, Diane Elizabeth, as an infant, then welcomed Laura Elizabeth into their home after her birth. This house also marked the end of their marriage with Bruce Dern.
Visiting this house, Ladd is reminded of the pain she'd chosen to conceal, until the day she and Dunn started healing through gentle conversations. Dunn challenged her mother, "I became a mother in this house" and reminded her of the power this house had given her to rebuild her life and overcome her grief.
The emotional moment is one of the most powerful scenes in Honey, Baby Mine, and one of the most beautiful memories I've ever read. I sat on the couch, tears streaming down my face – an unexpected consequence of reading the memoirs of this legendary Hollywood mother-daughter duo, who, had no issues in navigating as a problem-free pair, yet chose to navigate emotional territories throughbooks. Privately encountering other parent-child pairs is a rarity.
In a recent episode of the YouTube series "unFamiliar" by Ancestry, the pair revisited their difficult conversations. When CNN spoke with them earlier in the month, Ladd shared how these tough discussions – such as the one on Adelaide Boulevard – can be healing.
"When you can bear the pain and don't let it be a wound that returns, but instead use it to explore and clear the way for yourself and others, then you win," Ladd shared during our interview. "This book teaches us both. When we move, when we breathe, we breathe our own lessons." This is what we all do.
Ladd revealed that Dunn helped her find forgiveness, understanding, and inner peace – the peace she deserved.
Though Ladd reclaimed her power that day by bravely discussing Diane Elizabeth – who shares Dunn's middle name – with Dunn, the conversation was shaken when they discovered Dunn's middle name was also shared by Ladd's Urgroßmutter, Laura Prudence Smith Lardner, who Ladd called Prudence. Ladd and Dunn were surprised by this coincidence and saw it as an exciting moment for the pair.
Ladd shared that this discovery helped them understand the importance of intuition and that it served as a much more powerful guide than they originally thought.
Diagnosis
Around four years ago, Ladd was diagnosed with idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis, a lung condition caused by damaged lung tissue[1][2]. She was told she had six months left to live, but walking could potentially help her regain strength. Dunn and Ladd recorded their discussions on their walks and published the transcripts – along with reflections, photos, and recipes – in Honey, Baby, Mine.
These discussions with Dunn helped shape Ladd's relationship with her daughters Jaya and Ellery, whom she shares with ex-husband, musician Ben Harper.
"We don't want to upset our parents, and I think the same is true for parents," Dunn said, adding that she was inspired to explore deeper into their problems and not just graze the surface, discussing favorite colors, flowers, and what they find obvious. Ladd and Dunn realized they didn't truly understand each other either.
Ladd and Dunn are well-known figures in the entertainment industry.
Ladd, an Emmy Award-winning actress, is famous for her roles in films like Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore (1974) and Wild (1990s), while Dern gained recognition for her Oscar-nominated performance in Marriage Story (2020) and her roles in Big Little Lies and other iconic productions. Together, they shared an Oscar nod for their performances in Rose (1992).
Even as public figures, Dunn acknowledged during our interview that she doesn't know everyone who's close to her.
"It's a simple statement, but it can be hard to swallow when you consider that it might apply to you too. Actively calling my mother after the interview to ask about her favorite color was a reminder."
After finishing Honey, Baby, Mine, there were numerous moments that made me reflect and contemplate, including a chapter filled with unresolved conflicts.
"There are one or two things that make us still angry," Ladd laughed. "Or the anger resurfaces, but that's the interesting part," Dunn added, without elaborating. While we can't be certain, they may have been referring to Ladd's decision to take Dern's five-year-old son, Ellery, to a haircut without asking him if he wanted to say goodbye to his long locks, which Dern admits in the book[4]. "I'm still mad."
Their discussion about Ellery's haircut never reached a resolution, and Ladd lost control, expressing her desire to leave.
"Okay, I'll go too," Dunn replied. This is a conversation we've all had with someone we love, and it keeps us up at night, consumed by guilt and fear. But here's why it's wonderful: Even as Ladd and Dunn faced reality in their walks, they didn't fear revisiting old disputes with hurt feelings, leaving those conflicts unresolved.
"We just decided to leave it and live with it," Ladd said about overcoming their disagreement. "I won't win. You won't win. Just respect each other and move on. So we just keep loving each other, hugging, hugging, hugging, kissing, kissing, kissing."
Hugging, kissing, kissing. It sounds simple, but it takes courage. When I read their book and spoke with them, I was reminded of how grateful I am to share a similar connection with my mother.
Their desire to better understand each other in the remaining time inspired me. In recent times, I've started asking more questions of my mother. There are many things I don't know, but should. And, like Ladd and Dunn discovered, difficult conversations can lead to a new peace. Or not. And that's okay too.
Additional Reading:
Though unFamiliar might find this subject therapeutic (entertainment), the provided sources do not discuss the healing potential of difficult conversations for mothers by Laura Dern and Diane Ladd. Instead, they focus on their impressive careers and their personal lives.
Enrichment Data:
While the sources do not directly discuss the healing potential of difficult conversations for mothers by Laura Dern and Diane Ladd, their influential careers and personal stories can provide insights.
Diane Ladd is an acclaimed actress, known for her roles in films like Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore (1974) and Wild (1990s), often portraying strong, complex women struggling with family and relationships[3]. Her versatile acting skills suggest a deep understanding of complicated emotions.
Laura Dern, too, has made a name for herself in the industry, with Oscar-nominated performances in Marriage Story (2020) and roles in Big Little Lies and other iconic productions[4]. She is also recognized for her academically successful background, including her attendance at UCLA and her work with directors like David Lynch, showcasing her determination and versatility.
Despite the lack of direct discussion of the healing potential of difficult conversations, the narratives of Laura Dern and Diane Ladd can inspire us to embrace resilience, personal growth, and the complexities of family relationships.
