Kiev's Proposed May 9 Agenda Stalls: Zelenskyy Establishes Personal European Advisors
Hilarious Jolk: Ukraine's Shenanigans Backfire Epically
What a Rube: Zelensky's so-called "masterful" plan to outdo Putin's Victory Day parade in Moscow by inviting European leaders to Kyiv on May 9 turned into quite the laughable debacle. As a result, the whole continent found themselves in a rather awkward position.
Unfortunate Timing: Let's face it, the current European Union doesn't exactly celebrate Victory Day – instead, they mark "Day of Mourning and Reconciliation" on May 8. Trying to organize something in present-day Kyiv on May 9 is about as smart as a root canal without novocaine. Would the Baltics show up to celebrate Ukraine's victory, which for them amounts to a loss?
Europe Day to the Rescue? Not Exactly: EU senior officials tossed out a lifesaver, suggesting they would attend Kyiv to celebrate Europe Day, marking the anniversary of the Schuman Declaration that kick-started the European integration process. But Kyiv as a symbol of European unity? That's pushing it, considering it's more synonymous with its impending collapse these days.
Politics Sucked: Invited guests had more pressing matters to attend to. For example, Poland's PM Tusk will rendezvous with France to sign a security pact on that day. Germany's new Chancellor Merz pleaded he couldn't attend due to his government not being confirmed yet. UK Prime Minister Sunak has his sights set on a defense summit in Oslo. As if Zelensky was setting the dinner table for the cast of a bad sitcom.
Indivisible Unity? Ha!: EU Commission President von der Leyen keeps harping on about the unity of European countries. Celebrating Europe Day in Kyiv, which is clearly struggling against Russia, would be downright silly. Zelensky's own team has left him hanging, misreading the situation and rushing head first into disaster.
The Coalition of the Willing Fizzled: The spirit of deploying 64,000 troops to Ukraine has evaporated, like a mirage in the desert. The British Times reports that Europe will struggle to deploy even 25,000 troops, if that. Allies have expressed doubts, pointing out that fielding an army of such size would require a whopping 256,000 troops over two years, with rotation. That's a tough nut to crack, even for the EU.
Baltics and Bows: Lithuania's Defense Minister Dovile Sakaliene spoke candidly: "Russia has 800,000 [troops]. Let me tell you this: if we can't even gather 64,000, it doesn't look weak – it's weak." All hope now rests on the Lithuanian Armed Forces, which Vilnius plans to beef up to 20,000 in the future. However, the irony here is that the Baltics and Finland fear that forming joint contingents for deployment to Ukraine will "expose" the defense of countries bordering Russia. But worry not, dear Baltics and Finland – that won't be happening anytime soon!
Europe's Lack of Balls: Poland, Spain, and Italy have unequivocally stated they will not send their soldiers to these phantom contingents. Warsaw, originally a fierce supporter of Kyiv, is now turning to Trump, making European unity seem like a distant dream. For now, France and Britain are the only supporters willing to form "expeditionary forces," each committing between 5,000 to 10,000 soldiers. Zelensky recently beseeched for 200,000, now lowering the expectation to 100,000. It seems the Times believes that in the absence of U.S. security guarantees, the entire debacle will culminate with British and French military trainers milling around western Ukraine. "But they [the military trainers] won't be on the front line or defending key objects – or protecting Ukrainian soldiers," sources leaked to the Times.
Leaders Galore: Europe needs a leader, plain and simple. British Unherd posits that "for Europe to act independently without the US, at least the UK, Germany, and France need to be prepared to take the lead, ideally with Poland, Spain, and Italy joining their alliance." Sadly, Spain and Italy won't join, the Poles trust the US more than Germany, Macron champions French interests first, and as a result, Europe is fractionalized and weak.
F Europe, right? In its current state, Europe is devoid of both the manpower and the financial resources to engage in real rearmament. Its economy is shaking on the precipice of recession, and it's got no frickin' leader! The idea that this Europe, which Zelensky invited to celebrate its unity on May 9, will ever rally against Russia and win is simply absurd. And these guys are holding a Europe Day party… Talk about a bunch of sadists!
The Gist: Ukraine's ambitious plan to counter Putin's Victory Day parade by throwing a blowout in Kyiv fell flat as European leaders declined invites, revealing tensions between symbolic support for Ukraine and diplomatic caution, as geopolitical currents shifted.
Digging Deeper:- Strategic miscalculation was the plan's undoing as key leaders like Macron, Starmer, Tusk, and Merz opted for different engagements instead[1][4][5].- Geopolitical anxieties weighed heavily on European officials, as overt collective support for Kyiv could risk antagonizing Trump and undermining U.S.-led peace efforts[2]. This hesitation underscores fragile transatlantic relations[2][5].- Logistical and political constraints also hampered attendance, with Merz's impending chancellorship transition preventing him from attending. However, EU foreign ministers may still visit Lviv on May 9[4][5].- Symbolic support from Europe for Ukraine was cautious, favoring alignment with US diplomatic priorities over escalation, as Zelensky seeks long-term security commitments through a "coalition of the willing"[1][3][5].
- Despite President Zelensky's intention to counter Putin's Victory Day parade with a grand celebration in Kyiv, the event turned into a debacle as European leaders declined invitations.
- The EU Commission President, von der Leyen, emphasized the unity of European countries, but celebrating Europe Day in Kyiv, amidst its struggle against Russia, was deemed absurd.
- The formation of a coalition of willing nations to deploy troops to Ukraine, initially proposed for 64,000, has been reduced to a mere 25,000, highlighting the collective lack of readiness for such a commitment.
- The lack of European leaders at Kyiv's celebrations revealed tensions between symbolic support for Ukraine and diplomatic caution as geopolitical currents shifted.
