Is there too much gratitude? It turns out that sometimes less is more

Gratitude: Is it always the silver bullet for happiness? Or could it sometimes be too much of a good thing?

Sonja Lyubomirsky, a renowned psychology professor and researcher at the University of California, Riverside, tells us it's not so simple.

Lyubomirsky, author of "The How to Happiness" and "The Myth of Happiness", confirms that promoting gratitude can boost happiness, but research shows not everyone benefits from gratitude practices. In fact, it could potentially worsen the situation for some - and for others, perhaps even lead them astray.

Lyubomirsky, who's spent decades in the field of positive psychology, sheds light on the ins and outs of gratitude in her studies.

CNN Interview

CNN: In "The How to Happiness", you name gratitude a "metastrategy for achieving happiness". How does it work?

Lyubomirsky: Gratitude raises happiness by redirecting people's attention, reinterpreting their experiences, and painting powerful and optimistic memories. Studies show gratitude can effectively neutralize negative emotions. When we're grateful, it's hard to feel jealous, resentful, angry, or anxious.

Furthermore, gratitude reinforces our overall resilience, helping us better cope with life's challenges. For instance, if a person's home burns down, they could focus on the fact that their family survived instead of mourning their losses more intensely. Gratitude can help us navigate life's challenges and burdens.

CNN: You mention that gratitude can hinder hedonistic adaptation. Explain.

Lyubomirsky: Hedonistic adaptation is an extraordinary human ability to quickly adjust to new surroundings or events. Because of this, the joy we feel from positive things in life is often fleeting. Gratitude disrupts this cycle. Gratitude is the opposite of taking good things for granted.

CNN: What does science say about gratitude as a practice?

Lyubomirsky: The connection between happiness and gratitude is well-documented. Randomized, controlled studies prove a causal relationship: when people are prompted to express gratitude in various ways, happiness and well-being levels increase. We need more long-term studies, but I'm convinced of this result.

CNN: How does one effectively practice gratitude?

Lyubomirsky: That depends on the individual. What works for one might not work for another. Some people communicate effectively through speaking, so finding a grateful partner to confide in may be their best option. During difficult times, it might be beneficial to express gratitude by spending time with friends and family, talking about what they value.

Writing a thank-you letter can also be helpful, regardless of whether it's sent or kept private. Other people may choose to maintain daily gratitude journals. A study revealed that writing a narrative or letter rather than simply listing things showed greater impact. There are many nuances, but the goal is to find a practice that works for you right now.

CNN: You discuss how sharing the things you love and appreciate with others can increase gratitude. Explain.

Lyubomirsky: When we share our world with others, we can see everyday details of life with fresh eyes and in a new light. For example, I live in Santa Monica with a beautiful ocean view. I've grown accustomed to it, but whenever visitors pass by, I'm reminded to exclaim, "Oh, my goodness!" fittingly boosting my understanding of the landscape by 60 to 80%. Spending time with children can also be helpful. They see the world in a vibrant, exciting, and novel way.

CNN: Can gratitude overreach lead to harm?

Lyubomirsky: If happiness and well-being are the objectives, yes, daily gratitude interventions could be harmful. Gratitude interventions studies show differences based on how often participants wrote down five things they were grateful for: once a week or three times a week. Weekly writers experienced significant happiness improvements, but those writing three times a week saw either no benefit or even a slight decline.

CNN: Can gratitude practices actually do more harm than good?

Lyubomirsky: In some instances, gratitude practices can be counterproductive. At the start of my career, I heard concerned voices from mental health experts about the possibility that the application of gratitude interventions could worsen the mental health conditions of depressed clients. My curiosity led me to conduct a study on depressive college students. Many participants reported feeling less satisfied, so the study had to be discontinued. Some people report feeling embarrassed or ashamed at the thought of accepting gratitude or kindness that they have written down on their gratitude lists. Others find it difficult to find things for which they are grateful, causing them to feel worse about themselves and their lives.

When Helping Is Difficult

If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts or psychological issues, there is help available. In the US: call or text 988, Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. Globally: International Association for Suicide Prevention and Befrienders Worldwide have contact information for crisis centers worldwide. I spoke with a doctor who treats severely depressed teenagers in Canada and discussed a risk factor for suicide, the feeling of being a burden to loved ones – it would be easier for them if you weren't around. We have not yet conducted studies on this, but I believe it might be more painful for them to be asked to consider how their loved ones have helped and supported them over the years.

If I asked you to count your blessings daily for ten days, you'd likely find it challenging to keep coming up with things to be grateful for. This might lead you to believe that your life may not offer much happiness.

CNN: What advice would you offer to avoid pitfalls while practicing gratitude?

Lyubomirsky: Trust your instincts. Reflect upon yourself. If you feel less positive or connected during gratitude practice, listen to your body and try something different. Learn about factors we've discussed, such as the difficulty of finding things to be grateful for or the embarrassment associated with gratitude practice becoming a chore or losing its significance. Try something else. Make a break, or try expressing gratitude in a new way.

If happiness is your goal, understand that gratitude is just one of many activities you can do to become a happier and more successful person. Other strategies include generous acts and simply enjoying the moment. Gratitude practice is just one strategy for your journey.