Holy Cross Campus Sighting of Moo Deng
Moo Deng, the globally famous baby pygmy hippo, has reportedly been seen on the Holy Cross campus in Worcester, Massachusetts. The exact details of her arrival are yet to be announced by the administration to ensure her safety and wellbeing.
Moo Deng, who was previously residing at Khao Kheow Open Zoo in Thailand, has gained immense popularity due to her adorable antics being captured on video. However, this fame has also brought unwanted attention, with tourists throwing water and vegetables at her, posing a threat to her safety.
In response to a recent trespassing incident involving Moo Deng, the Thai zoo has vowed to implement tighter security measures. These include the appointment of a fact-finding panel, police involvement, enhanced monitoring, and more stringent visitor controls to prevent future breaches. The zoo has emphasised its commitment to protecting Moo Deng and its other animals.
Meanwhile, life on the Holy Cross campus seems to be a quiet contrast for Mack Hughes '25. While others were vacationing in The Bahamas and Florida, Mack described his solo activities on campus as "peace and quiet", "abandoned", "isolated", and "deserted". However, he found solace in the return of the crispy buffalo chicken sandwich, a favourite among students.
As Moo Deng settles into her new environment, she has been captured eating lettuce, getting belly rubs, and being generally adorable. It remains to be seen how she will adapt to her new home in Worcester, a city that boasts swamp-like features reminiscent of a hippo's natural habitat.
In a surprising turn of events, The Eggplant, a satire organization at Holy Cross, recently bought a news section in an auction. This move follows The Onion's purchase of InfoWars, which seems to have inspired The Eggplant's capitalistic ventures.
Strange occurrences have also been reported on campus, with a pattern of wet stomps documented through the halls and teeny tiny baby chomp marks recorded on the trees on the Kimball quad. Could these be signs of Moo Deng's presence? Only time will tell.
[1] Source: Khao Kheow Open Zoo press release, 1st February 2022.
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