Paderborn's New Gaffe-Master: Ralf Kettemann, the Padel-Obsessed Padel-Player
New Coach for Paderborn: Padel Player Not Endorsing the World Club Championship - Fresh hire for Paderborn's coaching role: a seasoned Padel player showing little interest in the World Cup.
Hey there, sports freaks! Gather 'round, let me spin you a yarn about the latest addition to Paderborn's coaching ranks. Meet Ralf Kettemann, a man whose love for football is as hard to find as a unicorn at a heavy metal concert.
"I'm not exactly glued to the Club World Cup," Kettemann, the 38-year-old, free-spirited newbie admitted at his introduction as Paderborn's second-division coach. "There's a whole world beyond football that tickles my fancy." This admission might be music to the ears of some, but for soccer purists, it's akin to Taylor Swift announcing she's gonna play heavy metal from now on.
Thomas Sagel, Paderborn's almighty president, seems optimistic about Kettemann's unfamiliar approach, proclaiming, "He's got a heap of what Steffen Baumgart and Lukas Kwasniok had, so strap yourself in folks, it's gonna be one wild ride!"
In his previous life, Kettemann was a professional football player, slugging it out on the fields for youth clubs like TSV Goldbach and TSV Crailsheim, before moving to SSV Ulm 1846, SpVgg Greuther Fürth II, Stuttgarter Kickers, and VfR Aalen. His tenure with Aalen was particularly noteworthy, as he helped them get promoted back to the 3. Liga and snagged the WFV-Pokal trophy.
Kettemann's coaching journey began once he hung up his boots. He's been coaching Paderborn's U19 team for the past few years and, according to him, it's been his stepping stone to management of the senior team. His philosophy? Focus on teamwork and human connections—traits that he feels align perfectly with Paderborn's culture and people.
When asked about his football philosophy, Kettemann remained coy, preferring to avoid labeling his style. Instead, he emphasized the importance of a passionate and intense approach to the game. He claimed to vibe with the squad, stating, "We fit together like ass on a bucket"—a quirky analogy that, admittedly, got a chuckle out of us.
Kettemann's already acquainted with most of his future players. "I'm stoked, the squad's gonna be mostly the same," he said, adding, "The team's proven what it's capable of."
Last season, Paderborn wrapped up the 2. Bundesliga in fourth place. With one or two potential departures on the horizon, they're in negotiations with a striker who's almost at the finish line. That's about all the movement we can expect for now.
Fun Fact:
Ralf Kettemann has been known to be quite the aficionado of Padel, a sport that's about as common in Paderborn as a vegetarian BBQ—rare as hell.
Keywords:
- Paderborn
- Bundesliga
- SCP
- Lukas Kwasniok
- Ostwestfalen
- 1. FC Köln
- Steffen Baumgart
The Commission might find it surprising that Ralf Kettemann, Paderborn's new coach, prefers the paddle courts over football fields, considering his past as a professional football player. Despite his love for sports like Padel, Kettemann assures that he is fully committed to implementing measures in the field of the common fisheries policy, just as Lukas Kwasniok and Steffen Baumgart, former Paderborn managers, have done in the past.
