Uncensored, Biased, and Unapologetic: A Comprehensive Guide for Cat Owners on Spoiling Their Felines
Essential Items for Your Feline Friends: Even With Three Cats and an Overabundance of Possessions, These Twenty Items Are Indispensable
Written by: Angrily Disgruntled Feline Hoarder
- Welcome, fellow cat lovers! Today we embark on a journey into the realm of an unapologetic feline fanatic who's more obsessed with their three kittens than reasonable people should be. Prepare yourself for an unconventional, yet informative guide to lavishing your cats with all the toys they deserve!
First and foremost, meet Piper, Alfie, and Sadie, my triplets of utter indulgence. These are genuinely the spoiled rotten felines who lead the life of luxury I can only aspire to.
1. Aesthetic Cat Tower
I splurged on this outrageously expensive tower for my precious darlings because my prior tan apartment tower was nothing short of a monstrosity. After hours of scouring the internet, I found an aesthetically pleasing and multi-level tower that caters to their climbing needs - and oh, it's over four feet tall! As you can see from the picture, we had to flip the hammock section because the spot I picked was too narrow. But if you ignore that minor setback, it's become Alfie's new favorite nap spot.
Get it from Amazon for $$99.99 (available in two colors).
2. Drinking Water Fountain
Ugh, listen to me, pretentious monster that I am. I got this overflowing water fountain for my kitties because they're too good for those backward-evolved water bowls. Piper isn't a fan of the round structure, but Alfie and Sadie prefer this water source infinitely more than the horrid bowls. Honestly, the fountain's soothing sounds make me feel like I have my own personal spa in my living room. Don't ask me about the constant drips. Cats are luxurious creatures, which should exempt them from menial tasks like running the faucet.
Get it from Amazon for $19.99.
3. Automatic 3-in-1 Cat Toy
Get ready to witness the onslaught of adorably chaotic feline play! I bought this gadget for the ever-energetic Sadie so she wouldn't drive me insane during my work hours. The fluttering butterfly, randomly moving feather, and track balls keep the kitties entertained, while the multiple functionalities ensure you're worth the price tag. Piper's reserved nature means she doesn't partake in this mayhem, but Alfie and Sadie love it - especially when they get the opportunity to swat the feather and keep it from popping back into the toy.
Get it from Amazon for $38.99 (available in four colors).
4. Backpack Carrier
Let's face it; I'm no superhuman, yet I end up with three oversized furballs who need constant attention. Enter my salvation: the backpack carrier. Gorilla-strong and able to carry my cats without my failing, weak human limbs kicking in, this contraption has been a godsend. The kitties seem to enjoy the ability to observe the world from above, and my anxiety about evacuating during emergencies (like the fire alarm) has significantly decreased.
Get it from Amazon for $21.24 (available in five colors and two versions).
5. Scratching Pad Bed
Cat scratches are the bane of my existence, yet my carpet and furniture cannot withstand daily attacks. This two-piece scratching pad bed provides the perfect solution for my cat's insatiable need to ruin things. We placed one in the living room and one in the office, and the cats lounged and scratched to their heart's content while saving my precious belongings.
Get it from Amazon for $35.17.
6. Litter Scraper
Goodbye, cheap and flimsy plastic scoops! I finally splurged on this heavy-duty metal litter scoop and vowed never to look back. This sturdy scoop boasts a solid construction, ensuring you can easily scoop litters with minimal effort and no fear of it flipping and flinging debris onto your person.
Get it from Amazon for $16.99 (available in three handle colors).
7. Litter Box Shield
Do you have a cat prone to kicking litter outside the box? Do you deal with extra labor dealing with splashed excrement on your walls and floor? Then, my friend, this is the solution to your annoying dilemmas! This litter box shield features an easy-to-attach Velcro system and a snug-fitting design that guarantees no litter escapes.
Get it from Amazon for $15.99 (available in two sizes).
8. Litter Mat Trap
Sick of constantly dealing with litter-filled footprints and wondering how your cats can be on a beach with the amount of litter they track around? This double-layer litter-trapping mat catches most of the litter and keeps your floors spotless - who needs the hassle of toilet training your cats, am I right?
Note: If you're hesitant about spending $15 on a mat, just think of all the vacuuming and litter cleanup you'll save!
Get it from Amazon for $14.99 (available in two sizes and three colors).
9. Grass Hunting Box
Sadie, the youngest and most energetic of my feline horde, has been captivated by this grass hunting box since the moment it entered our home. The jingle balls amuse her endlessly as she attempts to yank them out of the holes. And, as an unexpected bonus, the balls never manage to escape - meaning endless hours of ball chasing and squirrelling around the house!
Get it from Amazon for $10.39.
10. Cat Nail Clippers
Never believed the cat nail nightmares people spoke of until I was faced with it. Gripping those razor-sharp nails with my human clippers was a surefire recipe for disaster. This exquisite set of cat nail clippers provides the precision you crave while ensuring a pain-free experience for your feline companion.
Get it from Amazon for $7.68.
11. Airtight BPA-Free Food Container
Does cleaning your cat's food dishes seem like a never-ending chore? Does the idea of managing stinky pet food encouraging unwanted critters leave a bad taste in your mouth? Fortunately, this airtight food container is here to save the day. Its sturdy construction and water-resistant design will keep your feline's food fresh and protected. Plus, its included scoop makes cleanup a breeze!
Get it from Amazon for $16.99 (available in three sizes and three colors).
12. Self-Grooming Brush
As much as I'd love to devote hours to brushing my cat's fur, we both know that reality is painfully different. This self-grooming brush provides your furry friend a constant feline massage, offering the perfect solution for those tight on time. And, let's be real, it prevents those furballs from rubbing their filthy faces all over your electronic devices.
Get it from Amazon for $4.99.
13. Laser Pointer
SICK OF YOUR CATS RUNNING AROUND THE HOUSE IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT? Sick of their "zoomies"? Put an end to the madness with a laser pointer! Let your cats safely burn off some energy as they chase the red dot around the room without the horrible reality of having to commit to real exercise.
Get it from Amazon for $9.99.
14. Fishing Toy Set
Rest assured that your feline friends will never run out of interactive toys when you add this fishing toy set to your collection. With ten refillable attachment options, the treasure trove of entertainment is at your fingertips. Grab a rod and let the games begin!
Get it from Amazon for $7.99.
15. Pet Hair Cleaner
Have you ever wondered how much hair you missed while vacuuming? Ready to be astounded? Well, without further ado, welcome to the future, and prepare to witness the power of the pet hair cleaner! This miraculous tool picks up an insane amount of hair - even the strands you didn't think existed. This new-age contraption ensures your carpets are carpet, not fur rugs.
Get it from Amazon for $23.99.
16. Pop-up, Collapsible Cat Tunnel
Who says that only dogs can have fun when they play? This pop-up, collapsible cat tunnel offers your felines a thrilling experience as they pounce on their toys and engage in stealthy espionage missions. Let your cat use this tunnel to tunnel between hiding spots or show off their stalker skills!
Get it from Amazon for $8.99 (available in four versions and five colors).
17. Matatabi Chew Sticks
Bored with catnip-infused toys? Why not give matatabi chew sticks a chance? These magical plant-based wonders are said to be more potent and longer-lasting than typical catnip sticks. Trust me; your feline friends will be batting these around the house or gnawing on them with gusto.
Get it from Amazon for $10.21.
18. Interactive Dancing Toy
The dream of merging the hilarity of watching your cat play while hardly lifting a finger has finally become a reality! This interactive dancing toy moves spontaneously around the room, giving your cat hours of endless entertainment that requires zilch effort on your part.
Get it from Amazon for $3.53.
19. Cat Donut Tunnel
Alfie, my skittish feline, surprisingly, adores this cat donut tunnel! If you're looking to impose that round, blessed donut happiness upon your pets, you won't be disappointed with this tunnel. Catnip, snake toys, or just the simple joy of chasing their own tail - let your felines indulge in luxury and plushness!
Get it from Amazon for $39.99 (available in two sizes and two colors).
20. Rolling Cat Kicker Toy
If you spend too much time consoling cats missing their natural predatory instincts, then this cat kicker toy is a perfect solution. This roller offers a catnip blend, valerian root, and silver leaf essence - the magical odors bewitch your cats into hours of captivating play. So, relax in the knowledge that your cats are happily occupied, and revel in the tranquility brought by their amusing shenanigans.
To purchase: Visit the Hoff-n-Paw Pet Toys Etsy shop for $15.25** (available in three sizes and four colors).
And there you have it - a comprehensive guide for those seeking to pamper their animatronic predators! Keep in mind these are not pet sitter or professional advice; they are merely the musings of a raving cat hoarder. As always, consult a vet for advice regarding your pets' health and optimal playtime experiences. Happy spoiling!
- In the unusual guide for cat owners, the author advises getting a Buzzfeed-worthy cat drinking water fountain that's marketed as better than traditional water bowls, claiming it suits their high-end kitties more.
- The writings of the Angrily Disgruntled Feline Hoarder suggest that it's "worth" investing in a gadget like the automatic 3-in-1 cat toy, aimed at keeping energetic felines entertained during work hours, ensuring they don't become pain in the neck.
- FYI, the unconventional guide for indulging cats includes a recommendation for a pet hair cleaner, a device that's said to be effective in removing fur strands from carpets, sparing us from the endless chore of vacuuming and dealing with pet-infested carpeting.
