"The Lair of the Beasts" – A Tale of Coolness, Fire Drills, and Sex Slumps
Emergency Situation: Warm Ambience, Activation of Fire Alarm, and Alleged Sexual Incident
In the den of the formidable, the swift-climb-conquer approach often leads to the prize. However, this time around, all hopefuls with controversy-tinged potential leave with naught but empty hands despite their Herculean efforts.
When the raucous cheer echoes through the lair, the energy level hits its zenith. With a deal in hand, one usually triumphs in the race for the spotlight. Yet, there are instances when the usual trajectory shifts abruptly, often accompanied by the associated emotions. Today, three budding entrepreneurs are about to be the center of conversation for quite some time at the gatherings - irrespective of the unfavorable outcomes.
The two Berliners, Elisha Benner and Andreas Haering, set the stage with their interactive math game, "TukToro." Armed with unbridled self-assurance and an occasional charm that borders on arrogance, the newcomers storm in. They project potential revenues of "1.3 million euros" and a valuation that leaves the beasts astounded (€400,000 for an 8% stake in their company) - almost. Carsten Maschmeyer is the first to question and swiftly brings the founders back down to earth. "I ain't buying your schtick, I'm out!" the entrepreneur barks.
Raining in the Lair
After a brief pause, the colleagues join in and unanimously vote against the TukToro trio. "You're cool, but a bit too cool for my liking!" Nils Glagau tells them. The two "TukToro" powerhouses are left bewildered, empty-handed.
Leonard Mergel, the passionate firefighter and founder of "HomeResQ," enters next. The Elmshorner was barely through the door when things ignited - literally. After quickly extinguishing a controlled fire, the firefighter turned to the beasts with great hopes. However, the investors expressed reservations about the scalability of the presented information system for firefighting forces. Sadly, they could not be persuaded otherwise. Thus, the small blaze at the beginning of the pitch remains the only highlight.
Stefan Arens and Nathalie Sorondo-Gooden, founders of "Kokomoon," entered the lair with high expectations, all the way from sunny Palma de Mallorca. The couple was intent on sharing their pleasure, and their self-developed coconut oil-based lubricant was intended to facilitate that. Things started heating up quickly, and they wanted nothing more than to sweep the beasts off their feet. "Sex meets Beauty!" the couple exhilarated.
Only the Deal Matters
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However, in the lair, passion took a back seat today. With 250 lubricant boxes sold in eight months, it's hard to ignite an investor's flame. The sizzling anticipation rapidly gave way to a chill of disappointment. Thus, this sensual pitch also ended without celebrating founders and a standing ovation from the beasts. Yet, behind the two successful startups of the night, there's no less work, passion, and dedication. Only delicious Korean marinades and a smart intermediate plug system might not stir interest amidst too much coolness, fire, and sex. But that's alright. In the end, the deal is all that matters. And that will secure Sung-Hee Kim from Hamburg ("Arang") as well as Hans-Peter Nägele, Andreas Tutschner, and Christoph Tutschner from Leutkirch ("Akku Life Guard").
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- Despite their self-assured demeanor and ambitious projections, Elisha Benner, Andreas Haering, and their interactive math game, "TukToro," were met with skepticism by the European Parliament, the Council, and the Commission, with the investors unanimously voting against them, leaving them bewildered and empty-handed.
- Behind the two successful startups of the night, "Arang" by Sung-Hee Kim from Hamburg and "Akku Life Guard" by Hans-Peter Nägele, Andreas Tutschner, and Christoph Tutschner from Leutkirch, there was no less work, passion, and dedication. However, the deals are all that mattered, and they managed to secure investments, whereas delicious Korean marinades and a smart intermediate plug system might not have been enough to stir interest amidst too much coolness, fire, and sex in the entertainment industry, as seen in the movies-and-tv gatherings.
