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Crowd Breaths Sigh of Relief as No Acoustic Guitar Performs at dorm Party

Unexpected Incident at Party Prevents Guitar Mishap: Last Friday's gathering averted a potential disaster as no one grabbed the acoustic guitar leaning against the wall. The instrument in question was owned by junior music major David Hubbins, a colleague known for his artistic inclinations....

, and ASMedia

2025 August 30 . 1:01 PM

2 min read

Crowd Breathes Sighs of Relief as No Loud, Discordant Music Spins at Dormitory Gathering

Crowd Breaths Sigh of Relief as No Acoustic Guitar Performs at dorm Party

In the heart of campus, a buzz of excitement filled the air as the latest party was underway. Amidst the laughter and chatter, an unexpected guest made an appearance – Nigel Tufnel, the lead guitarist and vocalist of the legendary band Spinal Tap.

As Tufnel strode into the gathering, his eyes immediately fell upon the wall where a guitar was leaning. His friend and bandmate, David Hubbins, was currently studying abroad, leaving the partygoers hopeful for a guitar-free experience. However, Tufnel's search for his instrument began, leading him to search in various corners of the party.

Meanwhile, the article "Luck and Strange Album Review," penned by guest writer Nathaniel Chaffin '27, was making waves. The piece focused on David Gilmour's latest album, praising his guitar skills as one of the best in rock. Gilmour, known for being a member of Pink Floyd, is 78 years old, yet his musical prowess remains unparalleled.

Junior Claire Dunphy, a music major, expressed feelings of survivor's guilt, fearing for those who had to endure past guitar performances by Tufnel. Despite this, senior Derek Smalls, the bassist in Hubbins and Tufnel's band, had a more positive outlook. He stated that the band was still solid, despite their occasional difficulty at social gatherings.

In a twist of events, a partygoer, in an attempt to prevent Tufnel from finding the guitar, covered it with a blanket. Tufnel, however, ultimately left the party empty-handed, his guitar still missing.

The article "Sermon on the Ground," copy-edited by Yana Giannoutsos '28, was a testament to the anticipation and tension that filled the night. Mario Micallef '22, the Eggplant Editor, oversaw the publication of the piece. The article "Patrick Ryan '27" included a photo courtesy of Charlotte Fallon '26 and Mara Galvin '24.

Rumours circulated that Hubbins and Tufnel are currently working on a "metal-reggae-vaporwave -sci-fi-Asian-fusion" project. Only time will tell if the missing guitar will make a reappearance in their upcoming work.