Creatures Prepare for a Series of Trump's Newest Tariff-Related Turmoil
In the realm of the unusual, President Trump's global import tax scheme has taken an unexpected turn, with a focus on some of our favourite animated characters and wildlife. Kowalski, Melman, and Bruce from Madagascar are reportedly feeling the pinch, as are some more unusual victims, such as the hammerhead sharks of Svalbard and the giraffes on Africa's Falkland Islands.
The penguin population on Heard Island, a remote island off the coast of Perth, has also been affected under Trump's tariff scheme. The tariff on giraffes, however, was revoked after it was discovered that giraffes do not have thumbs, a fact that apparently saved them from the President's taxation.
Meanwhile, Mack Hughes '25, a student at an unspecified institution, has been making headlines of his own. This Valentine's Day, Mack is in a relationship. But when he's not expressing his love for his partner, Mack is expressing his love for food, particularly buffalo sauce and ranch dressing. Mack has even shared a recipe for Buffalo Chicken Dip, and Holy Cross Dining has brought back the crispy buffalo chicken sandwich, much to the delight of Mack and his fellow students.
However, Mack's love for buffalo sauce and ranch dressing has not extended to the eggplant, as he is allergic to the vegetable. Despite this, Mack is hosting an eggplant goulash feast, which, while unusual, has sparked curiosity among his peers.
In other news, the Chiefs have had a victory, and Mack Hughes '25 has expressed his excitement. As for the future, the identity of Trump's next potential victim remains a mystery.
On the entertainment front, a script for March of the Penguins Two: March on Washington has been drafted, and it will be interesting to see how the ongoing tariff saga will influence the storyline.
As always, the world continues to spin, with its myriad of events, both bizarre and banal. Stay tuned for more updates.
- Mack Hughes '25, a student on campus, gained attention not only for his romantic relationships but also for his culinary interests, particularly in events related to buffalo sauce and ranch dressing.
- The campus was surprised to learn about Mack's upcoming eggplant goulash feast, an event that was unusual given his known allergy to the vegetable.
- Meanwhile, in the realm of politics and general news, speculation continues about the identity of President Trump's next potential victim in matters related to war-and-conflicts, crime-and-justice, or international trade tariffs, similar to the ongoing situation involving animated characters, wildlife, and various products.
