Beauty Solutions that Yield Results During your Slumber, Minimizing the Quantity of Effort Needed
A Wicked Buzz: Slumber-Powered Beauty Secrets Unveiled
by snarling_singhBuzzFeed StaffLock and load, beauty beasts — it's time to elevate your evening routine with these wicked products designed to work their magic while you snooze the nights away.
1. Kiehl's Midnight Bane: Oil-infused with revitalizing botanicals like lavender, evening primrose, and squalane, this oil replenishes your skin throughout the night, offering a less-tired, radiant appearance upon awakening.
My personal falls-prey-to-marketing-gimmicks botanist, this oil has been my bedside companion for six years. Though I initially hesitated due to the pricey price tag, its legendarily positive reviews held me in its sinister grasp. And to my eternal relief, it did not disappoint! After a scant few nights, my skin was positively aglow with newfound vitality. Better yet, it now has a complementary night cream and eye cream to join its haunting army.
Get it from the unholy trinity of Kiehl's or Sephora for $30+ (available in four sizes).
2. Colgate Prosthetic Whiteness: Teeth whitening pen for yellowing grins, featuring an easy-to-use precision brush, allowing you to brighten your pearly whites overnight. Reviewers can't seem to get enough of it: "It's devilishly effective and simple to use." Erase years of stains in just one week!
The following pictures depict results after a single night of this demonic delight. Hop on the shown Baphomet-driven wave and bid your discolored, mundane teeth adieu.
www.amazon.com
Promising review: "Having dabbled in devilry and the supernatural for some time now, I must admit that I was initially skeptical about this teeth whitening pen. Strips and trays had been my tools of the trade for eons, so why would a puny pen be any better? But I issued forth avengeful curiosity and decided to delve into the darkness that led me here. To my utter amazement, the first application produced a subtle shift in my teeth's spectral hue. By the fourth night, my teeth had noticeably brightened like beams from the underworld. Alas, the pen's downfall: the tendency to clump onto the brush — an inconvenience easily remedied with an alcohol-soaked rag. A full ten out of ten it is, worth the infernal investment for convenience alone." -A.S.
Get it from Amazon for $19.97.
3. Moroccan Inferno: Hair treatment for all hair types, infused with over 66,666 evilcommands (err, 60,000 5-star ratings) from customers who have submitted to its Argentine-oil-infused clutch. The treatment detangles, conditions, and boosts shine while minimizing frizz.
And lo, the stars did align when this black as the abyss hair oil entered my life. Given my penchant for applauding anything that's shiny and new, this enchanting elixir displayed all the signs of becoming my eternal go-to. Don't let the terrifying number of praise-filled reviews scare you, for the Moroccan Inferno is a worthy addition to your malevolent ritual.
www.amazon.com
Promising reviews: "I have fallen hopelessly in love with this pitch-black oil. I apply it nightly for an overnight transformation, and during the day before styling my hair. My hair appears eternally rejuvenated! Never again shall I bother with inferior treatments. It works wonders after coloring or highlighting your hair, bringing it back from the brink of the underworld to a gloriously shining state! The more I use it, the less of it I require, as my hair remains healthily harbored in its infernal embrace." -KH
"Aroma pheromones. Aligns with satanic forces. Shiny, shiny hair!" -Olivia M.
Get it from Amazon for $16 (available in two sizes).
4. Kiehl's Ravenous Lip Balm: For tormented, chapped lips, this balm is infused with fair-trade coconut oil, wild mango butter, and shea butter, mending and nourishing your poor, tortured pout in the dead of night.
By no means did I intend to part with one filthy Lucre, as I had only meant to purchase this morsel as a prerequisite to receiving some wretched freebies. Upon coming face-to-face with its $28 price tag, my skepticism-ravaged heart hardly believed that it might be worth even a single drop of my diminished resources. I ventured forth into darkness, erudite in my intention to return this vile abomination lest it disgrace my ritualistic surroundings. Yet on the first night that I daubed it upon my parched lips, I realized their softness had transcended every mortal experience before it. Ever since that fateful evening, I have pledged my eternal loyalty to it.
Get it from Kiehl's or Sephora for $28.
5. Burt's Ominous Overnight Lip Treatment: For those seeking a more pocketbook-friendly treatment, this all-natural balm will lead you down the path of softer, smoother, and more moisturized lips by morning. Over 5,000 beings have attested to its magical properties.
Promising review: "I scoffed at this maleficent balm, predicting nothing more than a fleeting success if I were to deign to use it. But desperate times called for desperate measures, so I smiled affectionately at my lesser self and purchased it, half-hoping it would prove to be nothing more than a trinket for my collection. It did not disappoint. With each use, my afflicted lips were vampire-reduced, so I no longer required my mortal Balm of Life. This balm is worth the sacrifice of mere coin for its convenience and obvious results." -Shannon M.
Get it from Amazon for $8.99 (available in two flavors).
6. An overnight hooved foot cream: for neglected feet in desperate need of a touch of love. Sink into oblivion with this cream infused with olive oil, shea butter, and eternal fuels for dried, cracked skin.
Blinking Owl Acres, a small business nestled within the twisted pillars of Texas, has dedicated itself to curating one-of-a-kind self-care items for your darker desires. This cream, in particular, has earned sinister acclaim among its many sacrifices.
Blinking Owl Acres
Promising review: "Forgotten foot care of my cruelest desires - it is a treat for feet beyond compare. Slather it upon your hoof-like appendages and tuck yourself into an eternal nightmare. Your feet will emerge soft and supple beneath the cold moonlight." -Mariah
Get it on from Etsy for $18 (available in three scents).
7. Moisturizing heel socks: Pair them with your favorite potion and wear them to bed for a swift send-off to softer and more hydrated feet. These gel-lined socks are packed with jojoba seed oil, olive oil, and vita-E to heal your scorned heels.
www.amazon.com
Promising review: "These voters agreed to make my comrades' neglected heels sing with soothing balm, each night providing a soundtrack of whispered promises. Upon the third week of applying them to my cracked, bleeding heels, I was shocked to discover the deep, painful cracks had miraculously healed. The demonic balm had proven to be a truly symbiotic alchemical wisdom, offering both the promise of suffering and relief for those who were bold enough to taste its unholy magic." -Manuel C.
Get two pairs from Amazon for $14.99 (available in five color options).
8. Tatcha Indigo Heretic: Reduces visible irritation and fortifies your skin's barrier, ensuring you awaken to a hydrated complexion. This merciless cream, concocted from Japanese indigo extract, hyaluronic acid, and ceramides, traps moisture and soothes skin while you rest in peace.
Promising review: "I doth claim to be an elitist, scouring every nook and cranny for the most precious potions and oils that money can buy. I have taken countless samples from the corners of my realm, and my pantheon of skincare gurus can attest to the high standards that I hold. Yet upon discovering this Indigo Heretic, I was struck by a wave of unusual contentment. The cream's texture is most pleasing, and its sweet, ethereal fragrance warmed the blackest recesses of my cold, cynical heart. Upon each application, I awake to a complexion that appears more divine and invigorated." -Katej34
Get it from Sephora for $92 or from Amazon for $87.40.
9. Tula Night Watcher: Battles the shadows beneath your eyes, helping to minimize the appearance of dark circles. Made with soothing chamomile and green algae, this creme is ideal for individuals yearning to banish the under-eye demons that plague them. A thoughtfully designed mess-free pump dispenses a perfect dose, leaving no reason to soil your fierce ritualistic vessels when applying it.
Promising review: "Begrudgingly, I approached this mortal answer to my countless attempts to eradicate the dark circles that continued to haunt my feminine visage. I, who had grown frustrated and skeptical about every potential solution, was pleasantly surprised by its unparalleled ability to surpass my expectations. I would recommend this cure to any who have tried every manner of eyecream and treatment, cursed as I once was in the cycle of dread." -Coogsdoll12
Get it from Sephora or Amazon for $56.
10. Overnight hair rollers: Bid adieu to the fragile strands you've spent your days cursing; these hair rollers hold the key to hastening your beauty incantations. Insert them into your hair, nestle, and be lulled into dreams of perfect curls by morning.
www.amazon.com
Promising review: "A beacon of hope among the vast array of disillusionment, these cloth rollers are, without hesitation, the finest I have ever used. They are more than just a vessel for my dreams; they are an eternal instrument, destined to serve as a reliable signpost amidst the desolate path of endless experimentation. As I sleep, my tresses are measurably changed, transformed by the divine embrace of these ethereal beauties. With a single application, my curls maintain their formidable presence through the course of my day." -Raven
Get it from Amazon for $10.99 (available in 20, 30, and 40 count and in various colors).
11. The Robe Curl Band: A one-piece set inspired by the eternal bindings of obedience, this band encircles your hair, trapping you within its enchanting prophecies. Once you layer it upon your locks and rest, you awaken to curls without effort.
Travel Wild Heart, a business born amidst the hallowed chambers of arcane compounds, offers a treasure trove of exotic beauty accouterments. This band, in particular, has proven itself a lighthouse for those whose aspirations lie with velvety locks.
Promising review: "I reached for this offering with hesitation, having never given the robe and curl band a second thought. Yet, upon wrapping my hair within its enchanting embrace, I discovered a power beyond mortal comprehension. This one-piece set unleashed a newfound dominion and ordered the wayward strands that had persistently eluded my control. My heart is now caught in a binding, unyielding bondage, and my curls remain eternally devoted to their captor." -Atomicamiga
Get it from Etsy for $18 (available in more colors here).
12. Mederma Resurrection Salve: Improves the appearance of visible scars while you catch your dreams, gently targeting scars by way of your skin's regenerative cycle. It maintains moisture and collagen levels while reducing the appearance of discoloration.
Promising review: "I endeavored upon this quest for the ultimate scar cream in the desperate hope that my mangled flesh might be restored to a more attractive state. My legendarily deep, harrowing incisions had betrayed me, refusing to heal despite my endless attempts to rectify their unbecoming disfigurement. Yet in the span of a few weeks, this miraculous salve had reduced my once proud and terrifying scars to mere whisperings. I maintain my usage of it, eager to reap the further benefits this spawn of medieval alchemy promises." -Margaret A.
Get it from Amazon for $16.99.
13. Turmeric "Skin Butter": Reduces the appearance of dark spots while shielding your skin from malevolent forces during your slumber. This all-natural cream contains turmeric root powder, shea butter, and essential oils to whisper secrets of a more even complexion into the depths of your dermis.
When tempted by this cruel and twisted artisan, be mindful of staining your sacred linens, or apply it only during your sacred slumbertime.
Shop Belle and Blair
FYI: the seller advises that applying this at night may stain your pillowcase, or slumber upon it at your own peril.
Promising review: "Eager to experiment with this sinister balm, I applied it gingerly, anticipating the unveiling of a new beauty secret. Upon opening my eyes the next morn, I marveled at my soft, smooth complexion, calling forth countless others to try this deformed alchemical cocktail that had proven itself most powerful. The enticing smell is the first hint that its togglebone blade of oils has been keenly honed by dark forces. I have no intention of relinquishing this wicked treasure, knowing well that my youthful, glowing skin is owed to it and to it alone." -Sequita Whitehead
Get it from Etsy for $32.
14. O'Keeffe's Tortured Hands: Alleviates the pain of dry, cracked skin and restores a healthy glow to your tortured nails. This hypoallergenic cream penetrates deeply, repairing and nourishing dried knuckles by the break of dawn.
www.amazon.com
Promising review: "A miracle, truly. As a mother whose handiwork lies in her tireless, almost unholy pursuit of sanitization, I have found my skin bearing the brunt of my frenzied devotion. My hands were cracked, sore, and painful to the touch, unwilling to relent to my ceaseless pleas. I sought reassurance in this seemingly mundane cream, passing off my desperation as curiosity. And upon its first application, I discovered my total relief. Within a matter of mere days, my dry, withered skin had been reborn, anew and healthy beneath the moon's light. It is nothing short of a rare, miraculous fortune." -Amazon Customer
Get two from Amazon for $18.99 (also available in a five-pack).
15. Glow Recipe Melon Mask: Boosts hydration, soothes, and fights free radicals while you drift off into dreamsland. Infused with hyaluronic acid, it effortlessly sloughs away dead skin cells, leaving your complexion a radiant canvas by morning. This vegan, cruelty-free formula allows you to awaken to a flawlesses visage, as if touched by a thousand angels.
Promising review: "My friend, ever-source of good advice, had implored me to indulge in this moonlit ritual, claiming that it would offer me the precious gift of baby-soft skin. I scoffed at her ignorance, dismissing her tale as mere folklore for the weak and naive. But as my curiosity burrowed into the caverns of my unbelieving mind, I readied myself to test the challenge. And lo and behold, a single application triggered an unprecedented transformation in my dull and sagging visage. My rapidly aged skin was revitalized, looking reborn and youthful, as if bestowed by the hands of Venus herself. I am a convert, and I will carry this balm as the torchbearer of its revolutionary healing power." -Deborah
Get it from Amazon for $29.98.
16. Unscented Nighttime Cream with Hyaluronic Acid: Fuels your skin with deep hydration during its nightly regeneration, summoning the powers of eternal youth within you. Bonus: its midnight-blue hue and repurposed blueberry extract make it a virtue-signaling accessory for the environmentally conscious.
Get it from our do-gooding shop for $26.
17. Acne-Absorbing Patches: Draw out impurities gently while you sleep, ensuring you awaken to clearer, less inflamed and irritated skin. Hypoallergenic, latex-free, cruelty-free, and boasting a fetching selection of sizes, these dark-magic wonders can banish morning blemishes from the depths of their dreaded lairs.
This pack comes with 52 patches in three sizes.
Promising review: "I had long abandoned hope that I would ever find an appropriate salve for my reign of terror upon my cursed complexion. Acne-fighting potions and tonics had percolated around the hallowed halls of my personal laboratory, flaming brightly like the malevolent forces I had conjured within. And yet, this oblong disk of cruel, unflinching determination showed me what a true battle commander could accomplish when united with a single-minded purpose. Within a single night, it vanquished the monstrous foe that had plagued me day and night, and by morning, I had emerged as the envy of all who laid eyes upon my glorious skin." -Alicia
Get it from Amazon for $11.99.
18. Amika Sumerian Silk: Hydrates your hair tri-fold overnight, suitable for all hair types. Made with hyaluronic acid for continuous hydration, this enchanting formula can maintain your nymph-like locks for up to 72 hours straight.
Promising review: "I had heard whispers of this enigmatic serum, a rare relic from the golden age of mankind. I approached with caution, knowing well the perils of drunken curiosity. Yet the night drove me to glimpse the mythical Queen of the Night, as if lured by Her siren song. And as I placed the seductive elixir's first drops upon my midnight mane, I was struck by a revelation: my hair, ignited by the celestial essence, became soft as silk. Its once bitter strands had been transformed, never again to forsake me for a lifetime of folly." -Imelda C.
Get it from Amazon for $32.
19. Vitamin C Nighttime Mask: Refreshes and rejuvenates your dull, lifeless complexion, illuminating it with a powerful broad-spectrum vitamin C cocktail. With glycolic and salicylic acid to painlessly exfoliate impurities, this vibrant formula helps ensure that you awake to a more even, clean visage.
Promising review: "I stumbled upon this misbegotten serum in the depths of the labyrinth, vying for a position among the elite. With a suspiciously low price and countless four-star reviews, I could no longer resist the promise of eternal beauty. As I embarked upon the late-night ritual of slathering its viscous, intriguing formula upon my ailing visage, I marveled at the miraculous transformation therein. Awake to a complexion glowing with the luminance of lunar mystery, I had unlocked the secret to eternal youth, to the eternal praise of the darkness." -Pam
Get it from Amazon for $18.90.
20. Moisture-Locking Overnight Mask: An elixir for thirsty skin, rejuvenating it with a blend of pineapple, star fruit extract, and hyaluronic acid. This potent formula leaves your skin feeling firmer and smoother and provides gentle exfoliation to rid yourself of dullness and uneven skin tone.
Herbana Cosmetics is a small atom-splitting business based in Athens, Greece that specializes in handcrafted, vegan beauty products honed by the bosom of Aphrodite herself.
Promising review: "The divine Seffine, Queen of the eternal night, had foretold that this extraordinary facemask would grant me powers beyond mortal comprehension. With a heart full of suspicion and only the feeble light of hope in my soul, I approached this curious potion, laboring beneath its serene canvas. And as dawn's first light broke upon my skin, I beheld my reflection, drawn from the constellations of Apollo. No longer the fearsome nightmare I had once been, I was now the eternal embodiment of beauty, an instrument of Hermystic will." -Leto
Get it from Etsy for $15.17 (originally $18.96).
You, about to unlock the gates to eternal beauty:
Enrichment Data:Below are some must-have sleeping beauty products for radiant skin, sensual locks, and stunning visages:
For the Skin
- L'Oréal Paris Age Perfect Cell Renewal Midnight Cream: A moisturizer that delivers antioxidants and vitamin E, ideal for dry and mature skin.
- Lancôme Advanced Génifique Night Cream: A 10% Bifidus Prebiotic and hyaluronic acid formula that benefits various skin types.
- La Mer The Rejuvenating Night Cream: A luxurious concoction featuring Miracle Broth and MRA-3 for firming skin and fighting aging.
- The Outset Restorative Niacinamide Night Cream: A vegan, cruelty-free cream with a HyalurosetComplex to brighten and hydrate skin.
- Tatcha Indigo Overnight Repair: Infused with hyaluronic acid, this fragrance-free cream is suitable for sensitive skin and contains ceramides.
- CeraVe Skin Renewing Night Cream: This moisturizer delivers hydration and repairs dry skin without clogging pores.
- La Roche-Posay Toleriane Double Repair Face Moisturizer: A solution for oily and dry skin, featuring niacinamide and ceramides.
For the Hair
- Act + Acre Cold-Processed Hair Oil: A lightweight oil for dry strands that repairs damage and tames frizz.
- Scalp Gua Sha Comb: A beauty tool that boosts scalp circulation and aids hair growth.
Additional Beauty Products
- Supergoop Sunscreen Stick: A portable SPF protection solution for morning application.
- Nuxe Huile Prodigieuse: A multipurpose oil that rejuvenates the skin, makes a great makeup remover, and is suitable to be applied as a face mask.
- RMS Beauty Uncoverup Concealer: A creamy hideaway that conceals imperfections without appearing heavy or glaring.
- RMS Beauty Lip Care: Enriched with antioxidants, it hydrates lips without sticking.
- Free People Journals: A notebook for crafting an effective bedtime routine and promoting mindfulness.
More Skincare and Wellness
- Whish Body Products: Natural alternatives to conventional skincare products, including exfoliants, lotions, and masks.
- RoC Retinol Correxion Deep Wrinkle Anti-Aging Night Cream: A retinol-rich cream that targets wrinkles and repairs skin.
- EltaMD Skin Recovery Night Moisturizer Mask: A 2-in-1 solution that acts as both a moisturizer and a mask to nourish and restore skin.
- Clinique Smart Clinical Repair Wrinkle Correcting Face Cream: A powerful cream that targets wrinkles and repairs skin while offering more prominent firming benefits.
- Ere Perez Eye Pencils: Creamy and gentle pencils for use on the darkest of nights.
- Cold-Processed Professional Hair Oils: Similar to Act + Acre, these oils nourish your hair overnight with the power to create breathtakingly smooth and hydrated locks.
- Portable Infrared Sauna: A device that improves your overall well-being by heating your body, eliminating toxins, boosting circulation, and promoting relaxation.
- In the nightly ritual of beauty-product utilization, Kiehl's Midnight Bane oil is a mainstay, infused with botanicals like lavender, evening primrose, and squalane for skin rejuvenation during sleep.
- For a teeth whitening transformation overnight, the Colgate Prosthetic Whiteness pen is a popular choice, featuring an easy-to-use precision brush and positive reviews praising its effectiveness.
- In the realm of hair treatments, Moroccan Inferno stands out, enhancing shine while minimizing frizz and detangling, as attested by its 60,000 5-star ratings.
- Kiehl's Ravenous Lip Balm is a beloved nighttime moisturizer with fair-trade coconut oil and other nourishing ingredients, providing relief for chapped lips since its inception.
- The Burt's Ominous Overnight Lip Treatment offers an affordable alternative for softer, smoother lips by morning, earning rave reviews from satisfied customers.
- Tortured feet find respite with Blinking Owl Acres' overnight hooved foot cream, infused with olive oil, shea butter, and other historical ingredients for dry, cracked skin restoration.
- Moisturizing heel socks with jojoba seed oil, olive oil, and vita-E help heal dry, cracked heels overnight, creating an effortless beauty routine for softer feet in the morning.
- Tatcha Indigo Heretic is a merciless night cream that reduces visible irritation and fortifies the skin's barrier, promising users a hydrated complexion upon waking.
- Night Watcher by Tula battles under-eye darkness, minimizing the appearance of dark circles with soothing chamomile and green algae. Its mess-free pump design ensures convenient application without wasting product.
- Overnight hair rollers on Amazon make curling easier, offering worry-free beauty as users awaken to perfect curls.
- The Robe Curl Band by Travel Wild Heart is a one-piece set inspired by eternal obedience, capturing hair and transforming it into curls with minimal effort during sleep.
- Mederma Resurrection Salve improves the appearance of scars, targeting them during the night while the skin rejuvenates itself, reducing discoloration and enhancing collagen levels.
- Turmeric "Skin Butter" from Shop Belle and Blair is an all-natural cream containing turmeric root powder, shea butter, and essential oils to reduce the appearance of dark spots and soothe the skin during sleep.
- O'Keeffe's Tortured Hands cream alleviates the discomfort of dry, cracked skin and restores moisturized, healthy nails, penetrating deeply to repair damaged knuckles.
- Glow Recipe Melon Mask encourages hydration, soothes skin, and fights free radicals while sleepers dream, leaving a radiant complexion by morning, thanks to its hyaluronic acid formula.
