Skip to content
general-news — Social-media — Politics — Pop-culture — Entertainment

An Open Letter ... to Pope Leo XIV

Congratulations on the Election! Indeed, the job won't be easy, but there's a golden bathtub, a papal secret account, and every Sunday, hundreds of thousands of people who must listen to you, regardless of the sermon's length. Many dreams of such a life! Unfortunately, a dark shadow of incense...

,   and  ASMedia
4 min read
Congratulations on the election! Indeed, it won't be an easy task, but there's a golden bathtub, a...
Congratulations on the election! Indeed, it won't be an easy task, but there's a golden bathtub, a papal X account, and every Sunday, hundreds of thousands of people who must listen to you, no matter how long the sermon. Many dream of that! Unfortunately, a dark cloud of incense looms over your enthronement: Suddenly, a shadow of scandal surrounds your installation.

An Open Letter ... to Pope Leo XIV

New Pope, New Challenges: Congrats on your Election! It ain't gonna be a walk in the park, but there's a golden throne, a papal secret account, and a crowd of a million every Sunday eager to lend an ear, no matter how long the sermon. That's a dream many aspire to!

However, a dark cloud of incense hangs over your coronation. The sudden demise of your predecessor casts a long shadow, particularly since his last known visitor was none other than the American Vice President, J.D. Vance - the Hillbilly Elegy type hailing from the rust belt. One wonders about their conversation: Was it a general blessings for Ohio? A plan to build a Tesla Ark for right-wing culture warriors? Or did J.D. simply share his worldview with the old Pope, who might have thought, "I've survived two millennia of Church history, but this is too much!"

To be frank, the fact that the Pope died shortly after welcoming a man who sees himself as a spiritual heir to Cicero and a bodyguard of Trumpism is, at the very least, somewhat fishy! Shouldn't there be some sort of Vatican commission? Or, perhaps, even an exorcist to give the place a thorough checkup? After all, right?

Let's move on to brighter things - you. And the irony of our times: now you're seated on the Pope's chair, whose right rear leg is older than any nation-state. Your ancestors once abandoned our continent of cathedrals to create a new, much better world elsewhere. Some say, one where dinosaurs went extinct because they missed the Ark of Noah, but that's neither here nor there. Now you're back, where confessionals, saint worship, the Gregorian calendar, and the whole lot of hot mess were invented. How does that feel? And we can't help but wonder: For how long has the Western World carried the values of the Old World like a monstrance in front of it? What's the fun in a droll messianic reversal?

New Pope, you take the Papacy in a strange time. The ancient empires have long crumbled, yet the West sinks at least thrice daily on TikTok. Catholicism has influencers who love celibacy as much as they love the rotation of the Earth, and conservative American politicians celebrate the Tridentine Mass like a patriotic constitution.

The New World seems to have reinvented the Old Rome. Americans often do that: pretend to have invented something that's already been around for 3,000 years in other parts of the world. That's why everyone rolls their eyes when the Amis claim to have invented the wheel again.

Perhaps now is your chance, Holy Father! Who else if not you could pour holy water on the morally uninhibited neoconservatism? Who else can reprimand the religious nostalgia of American cultural wars? Who else can wield a little influence over the madness playing out across the pond? Tell them that God disapproves of what Trump is up to. That the Kingdom of Heaven on Earth might not automatically materialize without Trump, but it will at least become a little more attainable. Perhaps they won't believe it, but maybe you will. You could save the world!

For that, Holy Father, we wish you strength. And humor too. And perhaps a certain resistance against American pathos. The Pope is dead - long live the Pope. May your papacy be wise, friendly, and relatively free of American senators. With shameless respect and a pinch of incense, a child of the old world greets you.

MB

Hannover, Open Letter, Pope Leo XIV, City Child

Enrichment Data:- Upon Pope Francis' death in 2025, there were some speculations about discussions between him and American Vice President J.D. Vance before his demise. However, no concrete evidence or confirmation exists regarding their conversation. It's important to note that Pope Leo XIV assumed the Papacy after Pope Francis' death, and the two did not have a direct conversation about any matter.- During Pope Leo XIV's inauguration, Vice President Vance visited the Vatican and paid his respects at Pope Francis' tomb. This visit was reported widely in media outlets, but no specific details about their conversation were shared. The main focus was on the traditional ceremony and symbolic gestures, such as wreath laying and prayers for peace. This visit did not imply that Vice President Vance had any significant role or influence in the election of Pope Leo XIV.

  1. The new Pope faces challenges in a world where social media platforms like TikTok dominate daily life, and religious leaders have influencer status on platforms such as celibacy and the Gregorian calendar.
  2. In the realm of policy and legislation, conservative American politicians celebrate traditional Catholic rituals like the Tridentine Mass, adding another layer of complexity to the Pope's role in the world stage.
  3. In pop-culture, the Pope must navigate the ethos of American pathos, which sometimes includes the claim of reinventing ancient traditions, such as the reinterpretation of Old Rome in the New World. General news and political discourse will inevitably intersect with the Pope's role, making the need for a strong, informed, and diplomatic leader all the more crucial.

Read also:

Related

Latest