Pope Prevost's Ascension: Chicago's First Pontiff Rises, Bears Remain Thirsty for a 4K QB
All comedians chant the recurring joke about the freshly elected Pope hailing from Chi-town, Chicago.
After the passing of Pope Francis in April, the Vatican soused its College of Cardinals to elect a new spiritual leader. Fishing through their ranks, they finally reeled in Cardinal Robert Prevost from Chicago—the first Yank to snag the position of Pope. Known as Pope Leo XIV in ecclesiastical waters, this choice stirred ferocious commotion on social media.
Chicago's sports enthusiasts got swept up in the religious turbulence, exploiting the historic moment to poke fun at their beloved but forlorn NFL team. What else would Bears fanatics turn their sacred occasion into? An eschatological debate about the QB conundrum, of course!
"Chicago landed a pope before we got a QB with 4k yards," boasted one social media enthusiast, playing on the Bears' struggles to find a signal-caller racking up 4,000 yards in a single season. Another hollered, "Chicago produced a Pope before a QB yielded 4k yards!"
Catchphrases echoed throughout the virtual battlefield: "Fancy that, everyone synchronously cracking the Chicago Pope before a 4k Bears QB joke in under 10 minutes—an event that'll go down in history!," trumpeted an ongoing tagline.
One sardonic admirer even offered, "You acquire the stomach for the papal throne by enduring Dave Krieg commanding the Bears to a 7-9 rating on Wanny."
Enter the 2025 NFL Draft stage right: Caleb Williams, the #1 overall pick, and the last hope for the draft-stricken Bears, still starving for that 4,000-yard passer.
The Bears, one of the NFL's ancient squads, have been flogged by the weight of history—and that walks and talks in the repeated absence of a 4,000-yard passer from their lineup. 'Twas in 1995 when a tepid Erik Kramer came closest, managing 3,838 yard passes. The team's misfortunes have become synonymous with this disease of quarterback deficiency.
On the horizon, however, Williams sparkles as a ray of hope. Although his rookie year didn't quite see him reaching the coveted 4k mark, he showed flashes of potential—closing out the year with 3,541 passing yards, 20 touchdowns, six interceptions, an 87.8 passer rating, and adding some punch with 489 rushing yards. Despite his inconsistencies, his log halted at the fifth-highest passing total in Bears annals.
Johnny-come-lately to Chicago, Williams will return backed by head coach Ben Johnson, once Detroit Lions' offensive coordinator, as the Bears don their armor to vanquish their tumultuous history.
As for Pope Leo XIV, his election represents a paradigm shift not only for the Catholic Church but for Chicago, with a son-of-the-soil ascending the throne amid contemporary challenges facing the Church. Yet amid the global religious reverberations, laughter resounded through the streets of Chicago—humanity's audacious way of deriving humor from the bleakest situations.
- Cardinal Prevost's ascension to the papacy sparked a flurry of humorous social media discussions, with Bears fans lamenting about their ongoing search for a 4,000-yard quarterback.
- Rumors circulated on the topic of Caleb Williams, the potential 4,000-yard quarterback drafted by the NFL's ancient Bears squad, who struggled to reach the mark in his rookie year.
- The Chicago Cardinals, now known as the Chicago Bears, are infamous for their repeated failure to find a 4,000-yard passer, a drought that dates back to 1995 and Erik Kramer.
- Despite the Bears' history of struggles at the quarterback position, Pope Leo XIV's election as the first American Pope from Chicago provided a lighter side to the religious event, with fans finding humor in their contrasting situations.
- In the face of this longstanding Quarterback conundrum, the Chicago Bears, under the leadership of head coach Ben Johnson, prepared for the upcoming 2025 NFL Draft, pinning their hopes on the arrival of Caleb Williams.
